McDonald’s just came out with a new burger called the McBiden,…
McDonald’s just came out with a new burger called the McBiden, when you order it the person behind you has to pay for it..
thefun
Sexcurity camera
I caught my coworker watching porn during our meeting He said this is his home security camera
October is eczema awareness month.
October is eczema awareness month. I’m raising money…. by selling scratch cards
Nectarines were grown by people who got tired of shaving peaches.
Nectarines were grown by people who got tired of shaving peaches.
Marx said that “Religion is the opium of the masses” suggesting…
Marx said that “Religion is the opium of the masses” suggesting that the people need better drugs.
Studies show non-smokers have an increased risk of dying of old age
Studies show non-smokers have an increased risk of dying of old age
What’s the difference between a politician and a prostitute?
What’s the difference between a politician and a prostitute? There’s a difference?
My wife said It’s final we’re going to my mother’s Halloween…
My wife said It’s final we’re going to my mother’s Halloween party whether you like it or not. So you better decide what you’re going… Read More »My wife said It’s final we’re going to my mother’s Halloween…
Winner
My pal asked me, “How much do you spend on a bottle of wine?” I said, “Ooooh, about 15 minutes.” 🍷🍷🍷
Are you hear me?
A man is convinced is wife is going deaf, but she won’t admit it. So he decides to test his theory once and for all.… Read More »Are you hear me?
Last chance
Man: Do you want to have dinner with me at Saturday night? Girl: Actually, I am getting married on Saturday Man: hmmm…. Friday night then?!
I just overheard my girlfriend telling her sister that she’s…
I just overheard my girlfriend telling her sister that she’s taking her retarded boyfriend to the pub tonight. I can’t believe the bitch is cheating… Read More »I just overheard my girlfriend telling her sister that she’s…
What should Ukrainian soldiers paint on captured Russian tanks?
What should Ukrainian soldiers paint on captured Russian tanks? Ctrl-
I really don’t like to brag about my wealth…
I really don’t like to brag about my wealth… But yesterday, I had to have my heating on.
Mee: I don’t get nervous during presentation.
Mee: I don’t get nervous during presentation. Also mee: ‘Hello everyone! My name is Presentation’.
Why can’t Putin communicate effectively with his generals?
Why can’t Putin communicate effectively with his generals? Because he has to shout his orders from across the table.
Boobs are nature’s anti-stress balls, unfortunately they’re…
Boobs are nature’s anti-stress balls, unfortunately they’re attached to the number one leading cause of stress.
Everything is goes to the plan
In fact, putler is sending his reserve army to Ukraine to find out what happened to the regular one.
A sex-ed teacher walks into class with a banana and says “today,…
A sex-ed teacher walks into class with a banana and says “today, I will demonstrate how to use a condom”. After he starts eating the… Read More »A sex-ed teacher walks into class with a banana and says “today,…
Wife: When was the last time you gave me an orgasm.
Wife: When was the last time you gave me an orgasm. Husband: Well this morning if I’m not mistaken. Wife: Yeah in your dreams.Husband: No… Read More »Wife: When was the last time you gave me an orgasm.
Mary: Jane, do you do any sports activities at all?
Mary: Jane, do you do any sports activities at all? Jane: Yes I do. Mary: Wow, what sports do you do? Jane: I do cross… Read More »Mary: Jane, do you do any sports activities at all?
He was surprised when his girlfriend said she wanted another…
He was surprised when his girlfriend said she wanted another round right after they finished having sex. “Come again?”
I’m not racist my sense of humor is black.
I’m not racist my sense of humor is black.
Boss: “You have to take a drugs test.” Me: *knows all the drugs*…
Boss: “You have to take a drugs test.” Me: *knows all the drugs* “No problem…”
Phone: Files have been saved to device.
Phone: Files have been saved to device. Me: Sweet. Where? Phone: I don’t know.
Wife: Honey, the vacuum cleaner doesn’t suck any more!
Wife: Honey, the vacuum cleaner doesn’t suck any more! Hubby: Wait let me see……ah….we have to get a new one…..this one probably got married!
I saw my girlfriend with another guy at the mall.
I saw my girlfriend with another guy at the mall. I was about to confront them but I managed to calm myself down. That wouldn’t… Read More »I saw my girlfriend with another guy at the mall.
Hubby: Babe, I had a wet dream about you last night.
Hubby: Babe, I had a wet dream about you last night. Wife: Oh yeah? What was I wearing? Or not wearing? Hubby: Well…it was a… Read More »Hubby: Babe, I had a wet dream about you last night.
A man died and went to heaven.
A man died and went to heaven. A few days later his wife died and she also went to heaven. She saw him there and… Read More »A man died and went to heaven.
Apparently having sex constantly helps the memory..
Apparently having sex constantly helps the memory.. Happy Christmas everybody..