I don’t see my wife & kids anymore.
I don’t see my wife & kids anymore. It’s all due to gambling. I won the lottery and I moved to Hawai’i
thefun
“The best way to a mans heart is through his stomach.” The…
“The best way to a mans heart is through his stomach.” The surgeon was fired later that day.
I was so poor as a child that If I didn’t wake up with a hard on…
I was so poor as a child that If I didn’t wake up with a hard on on Christmas Day I didn’t have anything to… Read More »I was so poor as a child that If I didn’t wake up with a hard on…
After my wife heard about “A woman’s right to shoes,” she went…
After my wife heard about “A woman’s right to shoes,” she went out and bought 12 new pairs.
Honesty
No officer these drugs aren’t mine, I stole them.
Always proofread to make sure you don’t any words out.
Always proofread to make sure you don’t any words out.
People always say, let me be Frank, I want to know who this guy…
People always say, let me be Frank, I want to know who this guy is and what makes him so special…
Saw my doctor today and showed him the bleeding coming out of my…
Saw my doctor today and showed him the bleeding coming out of my ass. He completely ignored me, and carried on pushing his shopping basket… Read More »Saw my doctor today and showed him the bleeding coming out of my…
Apparently, if you type erectile dysfunction into google….
Apparently, if you type erectile dysfunction into google…. Nothing comes up
What if, instead of Cinderella being a cleaning slave, she was a…
What if, instead of Cinderella being a cleaning slave, she was a cooking slave and her name was Mozzarella?
I don’t work well under pressure or under any other circumstances.
I don’t work well under pressure or under any other circumstances.
The day my wife died, I felt the worst pain I ever felt in my…
The day my wife died, I felt the worst pain I ever felt in my entire life. I somehow shot myself in the eye when… Read More »The day my wife died, I felt the worst pain I ever felt in my…
A Canadian visiting America gets held up at gunpoint. “Give me…
A Canadian visiting America gets held up at gunpoint. “Give me all your money and I’ll let you live. The Canadian replies gleefully, “Oh! You… Read More »A Canadian visiting America gets held up at gunpoint. “Give me…
McDonald’s just came out with a new burger called the McBiden,…
McDonald’s just came out with a new burger called the McBiden, when you order it the person behind you has to pay for it..
Sexcurity camera
I caught my coworker watching porn during our meeting He said this is his home security camera
October is eczema awareness month.
October is eczema awareness month. I’m raising money…. by selling scratch cards
Nectarines were grown by people who got tired of shaving peaches.
Nectarines were grown by people who got tired of shaving peaches.
Marx said that “Religion is the opium of the masses” suggesting…
Marx said that “Religion is the opium of the masses” suggesting that the people need better drugs.
Studies show non-smokers have an increased risk of dying of old age
Studies show non-smokers have an increased risk of dying of old age
What’s the difference between a politician and a prostitute?
What’s the difference between a politician and a prostitute? There’s a difference?
My wife said It’s final we’re going to my mother’s Halloween…
My wife said It’s final we’re going to my mother’s Halloween party whether you like it or not. So you better decide what you’re going… Read More »My wife said It’s final we’re going to my mother’s Halloween…
Winner
My pal asked me, “How much do you spend on a bottle of wine?” I said, “Ooooh, about 15 minutes.” 🍷🍷🍷
Are you hear me?
A man is convinced is wife is going deaf, but she won’t admit it. So he decides to test his theory once and for all.… Read More »Are you hear me?
Last chance
Man: Do you want to have dinner with me at Saturday night? Girl: Actually, I am getting married on Saturday Man: hmmm…. Friday night then?!
I just overheard my girlfriend telling her sister that she’s…
I just overheard my girlfriend telling her sister that she’s taking her retarded boyfriend to the pub tonight. I can’t believe the bitch is cheating… Read More »I just overheard my girlfriend telling her sister that she’s…
What should Ukrainian soldiers paint on captured Russian tanks?
What should Ukrainian soldiers paint on captured Russian tanks? Ctrl-
I really don’t like to brag about my wealth…
I really don’t like to brag about my wealth… But yesterday, I had to have my heating on.
Mee: I don’t get nervous during presentation.
Mee: I don’t get nervous during presentation. Also mee: ‘Hello everyone! My name is Presentation’.
Why can’t Putin communicate effectively with his generals?
Why can’t Putin communicate effectively with his generals? Because he has to shout his orders from across the table.
Boobs are nature’s anti-stress balls, unfortunately they’re…
Boobs are nature’s anti-stress balls, unfortunately they’re attached to the number one leading cause of stress.