My idiot neighbor knocked on my door at 3AM… who does that??
Luckily I happened to be up practicing my trumpet
thefun
Did you hear about the horse who married a prostitute?
He was a one-trick pony.
What did the orphan with no technology say?
“Amish my parents”
What did trump say to his son when he got hungry?
Hi hungry,I’m peached.
$999 monitor stand
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Why are there so many Trump jokes on this sub?
There aren’t, the only one is still in the White House.
Who was the first carpenter?
Eve because she made Adams banana stand
Question from non American. Why did you need to impeach Trump?
I mean he already is orange… is he not?
Have you guys seen that peloton commercial where the wife is super stoked to get an exercise bike for Christmas?
Also, does anybody have a couch I could crash on for a few days?
Guy goes to a shrink
What seems to be the problem?The guy says, I keep having this recurring dream I’m an auto mechanicThe shrink says, OK get under the couch
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?
An affront to God and man.
If you think you were surprised to hear about Donald Trump being impeached..
Imagine how surprised he was when putin skyped him to tell him about it.
sciencefantheories has been created
Theories and speculation about science, physics, and the universe itself. Until recently, society has only progressed, in terms of knowledge acquisition, through scientists with years… Read More »sciencefantheories has been created
Donald Trump found out about impeachment tonight coming after him.
Donald Trump: “Was she the stripper from Georgia? Write her a check.”
[At proctologist’s office] Me: *unzipping pants nervously*
Doctor: You’re understandably nervous, but please zip my pants back up.
Why do Americans love Russian dolls?
Because they’re full of themselves
Two identical twins that were separated at birth were asked how they reunited
Well, one said, “we met online and immediately noticed many physical similarities”The other chimed in “ we both mentioned in our bio how we never… Read More »Two identical twins that were separated at birth were asked how they reunited
Two old women sat on a park bench.
A man in a trench coat approached and flashed them. One old woman immediately had a stroke. The other old woman, couldn’t reach.
What’s the difference between a bitch and a whore?
A whore sleeps with everybody.A bitch sleeps with everybody …but you!
Donald Duck was walking trough Mario’s castle
When He saw the princess He said:Hi Daisy!To wich She replied:I’m Peach Donald.
I hate the musical Cats, so I’m loving these reviews
Seeing the movie so panned is just meowsic to my ears.
Something that struck me while rewatching M Night Shyamaliens
Rick uses a mixture of water, caesium and plutonic quarks to blow up the Zygerians. I remembered that water and caesium do have an explosive… Read More »Something that struck me while rewatching M Night Shyamaliens
A colored pencil cat by Patricia Otero
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Don’t try to galaxy brain the impeachment, Trump did impeachable things, you don’t need to think about it beyond that
Trump just did bad things and deserves to be punished for it. That’s about all there really is to it.No, you shouldn’t pin all your… Read More »Don’t try to galaxy brain the impeachment, Trump did impeachable things, you don’t need to think about it beyond that
Girl, are you an Eastern White Pine?
‘Cause you’re making my Pinus strobus
Does anyone have a contact in the underwriting department?
I am having issues with a client getting their products accepted and this is starting to become ridiculous.
I’m not usually one to take side, but gun to my head…
…I’d probably support the 2nd amendment..
Why can’t I see black ice on the road?
Because I don’t see color
Light travels faster than sound.
That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
Richest Man in Town
At the funeral of the richest man in town, a stranger saw a woman crying very loudly.The stranger said, “Are you a relative of the… Read More »Richest Man in Town