Why did the Grinch go to the bottle store?
To find some Christmas spirit
thefun
Trump gets Impeached
Me: The Senate will decide your fate. ignites lightsaber
HMC, I will show you how to toss an ice cube
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You know what I hate?
People who answer their own questions. Utterly despise them.
Two old men meet every morning on a park bench after religious services.
One day one of the old men shows up with a black eye.The other guy says “What happened”He says “ I was at mass, and… Read More »Two old men meet every morning on a park bench after religious services.
What do you call a Jewish Woman’s boobs?
Joobs(Yes I stole this from South Park)
Oysters
A man named John walked into a seafood restaurant, with his friend Patrick.It was John’s turn to pay, so he let Patrick order.Patrick ordered so… Read More »Oysters
OC. Nelly was busted with over a pound of solid crystal meth on his tour bus
I guess that’s where he got all of his andele in his E.I.. UH OOOOH!!!
What did the man with colon cancer say when he was on wheel of fortune?
I’d like to buy a bowel.
What do you get when cross Elton John with a sabertoothed tiger?
I don’t know, but you better keep it away from your ass
A fisherman and his wife had two children: a boy and a girl.
They were deciding what to name the children, when the fisherman noticed that every time they stood on the balcony, the boy looked towards the… Read More »A fisherman and his wife had two children: a boy and a girl.
My dad come up to my room, and handed me my soaking wet wallet, after accidentally leaving it in my jeans as they went through the wash.
“Son, you’re going to have to stop money laundering.”
Donald J. Trump has been impeached
Finally, something he’s earned
I’m a literal genius. I finished this super hard puzzle in only 6 months!
The box said 2-4 years.
Help with stranded color work
Hi! I’m starting this chart and have a question on row two. I have to make one (pick up the bar in the middle of… Read More »Help with stranded color work
What do you feel the real distribution of NTs is on a scale between “total assholes” and “basically cool?”
The recent drama over that “aspertards” set off a bit of a discussion where people pointed out that people who do things like that are… Read More »What do you feel the real distribution of NTs is on a scale between “total assholes” and “basically cool?”
If you tell all your friends to stand in a line and punch you…
There is no punchline.
This is the sort of day when even this subreddit has to get serious for a moment and take in what is happening out there.
The new Star Wars movie is a piece of shit.
I asked Donald Trump what kind of cobbler he would be.
He replied I’m peach mint.
Poor seaweed
Wanted to read, but nori, no write.
A fruit and a vegetable stroll into a bar.
The bartender calls out : “Oh, anything the matter? You look confused today, tomato”
What is the difference between a Lightbulb and a Pregnant Woman?
The difference is you can unscrew a lightbulb.
I told my Asian parents that I am Asexual.
They were disappointed that I wasn’t A+sexual
I’m afraid I’m going to drink during Christmas with my friends who are heavy drinkers.
What can I do? I can’t not go, it would be really messed up because i keep pushing off hanging out on weekends with b.s.… Read More »I’m afraid I’m going to drink during Christmas with my friends who are heavy drinkers.
Matt Damon decided to do porn
“Saving Ryan’s Privates”
This dude is having a stroke
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Why does KFC never have any toilet paper?
Because its finger lickin’ good.
My wife left me because I am obsessed with Depeche Mode.
It’s ok though. I’ll Enjoy the Silence
I’ve decided to become a nihilist.
Nothing’s gonna change my world.
I had a sad flashback…
To be honest, Shepherd in MW2 betraying you is better than getting scammed for V-Bucks in Fortnite.