What did Mario say when he saw the Alpaca?
Don’t-a worry it’s a false-a llama!
thefun
This guy in the gym just proposed and she said no
Well that didn’t work out
Why is EU like a frying pan?
Because Greece is stuck at the bottom
About The Witcher 3…
I told a friend of mine, an irishmen, to try out The Witcher 3. He bought it later that evening. In the morning he messaged… Read More »About The Witcher 3…
I like my coffee like I like my women
Lukewarm and bitter.
Why did the band “Rage against the machine” got arrested at the airport ?
Because they release another bombtrack
Did you hear the one about the guy who always poops?
He can’t keep his shit together
How many lawyers do you need to change a light bulb?
You need 2.One to change the light bulb and the other to defend the old one.
What do you call a Christian that never stops moving.
A Roman Catholic
How do you get your kids to be quiet while you sleep?
Tell them to wake you up in 30 minutes for chores and house cleaning. They’ll go quiet instantly and try their best to not wake… Read More »How do you get your kids to be quiet while you sleep?
I thought the fixture was perfectly level,
but the wedge beneath proved to be a Sham!
Why did Jeremy Corbyn buy so many advent calendars?
So he could keep opening the door to number 10
Tried to start a new trend
Turns out the #youtoo movement was a terrible idea
Why can’t Stevie Wonder see his friends.
Because he’s married.
A 9-1-1 operator in the deep South picks up the phone
“9-1-1, what is your emergency?””Oh my God, it’s my wife – she done been gored by a hog, she’s bleedin’ some real bad! Send help!””Calm… Read More »A 9-1-1 operator in the deep South picks up the phone
Madness at the Snowman’s rave last night..
All the Carrots were off their faces
Consulting a hotheaded doctor
… a man says: ‘Doctor, I’m unable to lie down or stand up; I can’t even sit down.’ The doctor responds: ‘I guess the only… Read More »Consulting a hotheaded doctor
Boy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married.
Dad: Wonderful; do you have a girl in mind?!Boy: Yes… grandma! She said she loves me, I love her, too….and she’s the best cook &… Read More »Boy aged 4: Dad, I’ve decided to get married.
[$1400-2000, USA] Windows Computer for After Effects, Photoshop, and gaming. Include Monitor (dual if possible), keyboard, and mouse.
I know that’s a pretty broad range, but I would like to see some options. I’m coming from a late 2014 27″ iMac. It has… Read More »[$1400-2000, USA] Windows Computer for After Effects, Photoshop, and gaming. Include Monitor (dual if possible), keyboard, and mouse.
Princess: I shall marry whomever of you is the bravest
Suitors: [all awkwardly look at the toaster]
A man was looking to buy a new phone.
He went into an electronics shop and went to the phone section. He went and talked to the staff “This new phone is the newest… Read More »A man was looking to buy a new phone.
What does Santa Clause love the most about Mrs. Clause?
The jingle physics
How do you make a hormone?
Don’t pay her…..
Why do atheists love December?
Because there’s three different religious holidays to make fun of people for celebrating.
I have a plan to transplant a rabbit’s cerebellum into a human skull.
It’s a hare-brained scheme.
I was excited to work for the ancient Egyptians
Until I realized it was a pyramid scheme
If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to get me to join a pyramid scheme…
Then two of my friends would have a dollar and two of their friends EACH would have have two dollars AT LEAST. And the guy… Read More »If I had a dollar for every time someone tried to get me to join a pyramid scheme…
My girlfriend changed when she became a vegetarian
Its like I had never seen herbivore
M-E-O-W
r/blessedimages•Posted byu/Cityboy2163 hours ago3Blessed _High5 View CommentsPlay0:000:00SettingsFullscreen5.6k points40 comments
Is being an atheist illegal in Malaysia?
I mean the first line in the Rukunnegara says “kepercayaan kepada Tuhan” which means “belief in God”. Any Malaysian here can give me further reading… Read More »Is being an atheist illegal in Malaysia?