TeamTrees reached their goal of 20,000,000 trees planted on the same day Trump got impeached.
Now millions of people can breathe easier.
thefun
My friend just told me that he’s a compulsive liar.
I don’t believe a word of it.
How did the sperm walk across the street
Because I put the wrong sock on this morning
Why is Australia situated in the corner?
Because it’s measuring 90 degrees, that’s hot.
Where do milk farmer do it?
In the dairy-air!
What did Tennessee?
Same thing as Arkansas!/dad
Hookers don’t fart
They let out little prosti-toots
What do you sing to a mute bodyguard on X’Mas eve?
Silent Knight, Holy Knight
Films used to be called vmoies…
…but now they movie.
What is the best american alternative metal band in australia?
System of a down under.
Humpback whales have a very short lifespan.
After about 30 seconds, the turn into sperm whales.
Why couldn’t the computer technician build his computer?
Because the lights were SO-DIMM.
What do you call a Halal buffet?
Halal you can eat.
Young woman on Soho crosswalk killed by box truck reversing the whole block and our dumbo NYPD “suspect no criminality”
A “gruesome scene” according to the Daily News. “The truck went in reverse on Broadway from Canal St. north to Howard St., where it struck… Read More »Young woman on Soho crosswalk killed by box truck reversing the whole block and our dumbo NYPD “suspect no criminality”
My cousin has dark hair. His wife is blonde. All four of their kids have light colored hair.
Genetically speaking, there’s a 15 in 16 chance that she’s cheating.
Why does Milton Keynes have so many roundabouts?
It’s so that if you’re driving into Milton Keynes, you can easily turn around, and then you won’t be driving into Milton Keynes any more.
I think it’s fair to say my Aunt Bessie has a drinking problem.
She thinks I’m twins.
Why was the clock on the pillow?
Someone hit the snooze button!
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A man drinks alone at the Empire State Buildings rooftop bar
Soon, a stranger sits next to him and after a few more drinks they get to chatting.”Want to hear something amazing?” asks the stranger.”Shoot,” replies… Read More »A man drinks alone at the Empire State Buildings rooftop bar
A man joins a sports team and needs to buy a jock strap
He’s very nervous about this having never purchased one before. He enters the store silently praying that he won’t be helped by a saleswoman. He… Read More »A man joins a sports team and needs to buy a jock strap
Why do golfers always bring two pairs of pants?
Just in case they get a hole in one
Today I took a taxi. The passenger before me had left his wallet behind on the backseat
Inside was a picture of my wife and kids.
When I was younger, I lost my virginity to a prostitute and only lasted 3 secs..
I think it was the whoremoans that set me off.
ERR_GFX_STATE
I know this error has been discussed before, but as is, the game is unplayable for me. I just got the game this week. Right… Read More »ERR_GFX_STATE
You like to play music?
You can practice on my skin flute
Why does Santa carry a big sack of gifts?
That’s just how he presents himself.
Why are pigs so smooth?
They use oinkment!
I got a sweater for my birthday.
I was hoping for a screamer or a moaner.
I hate people who take drugs
like policemen and customs officers.