not my circus
Everytime you feel yourself getting pulled into other peoples drama, repeat these words: NOT MY CIRCUS~NOT MY MONKEYS!
thefun
Still haven’t found
Bono from U2 is the voice of my cars GPS. It sucks. The streets have no name and I still haven’t found what I’m looking… Read More »Still haven’t found
Still in paradise
If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would all still be in Paradise, as they would have eaten the fucking snake. ???
Trying
Boy asks mum, “Is it bad to have a penis?” She says “No, why?” “Because, dad is upstairs, trying to pull his off.” ???
Check
My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the UPS driver knocked on our door to see if everything was alright
Problems solved
Fall in love with your problems, maybe they’ll leave you too.
Only the…
Anal Sex: The only time a man tries to convince you his dick really isn’t that big
Pour favor
My neighbour’s 4-year-old has been learning Spanish since lockdown. He still can’t say “please” though, which I think is poor for four.
Frank Einstein
Would Albert Einstein have been so successful if his father had called him Frank?
Hand made
A baby that came from a sperm bank is basically ‘hand made.’