Reminder
Every time I have to fold laundry I consider becoming a nudist.. Then I remember what I look like naked and I keep on folding.
thefun
12 points
G.F. :You treat our relationship like some kind of game. ? Me: this will cost you 12 points and a bonus round.
Watching a cooking show and the host said you can use leftover…
Watching a cooking show and the host said you can use leftover beer to make battered chicken wings.. What the hell is leftover beer?
not my circus
Everytime you feel yourself getting pulled into other peoples drama, repeat these words: NOT MY CIRCUS~NOT MY MONKEYS!
Still haven’t found
Bono from U2 is the voice of my cars GPS. It sucks. The streets have no name and I still haven’t found what I’m looking… Read More »Still haven’t found
Still in paradise
If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would all still be in Paradise, as they would have eaten the fucking snake. ???
Trying
Boy asks mum, “Is it bad to have a penis?” She says “No, why?” “Because, dad is upstairs, trying to pull his off.” ???
Check
My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the UPS driver knocked on our door to see if everything was alright
Problems solved
Fall in love with your problems, maybe they’ll leave you too.
Only the…
Anal Sex: The only time a man tries to convince you his dick really isn’t that big