Dr – “I’m sorry sir, I’m going to have to advise you to stop Masterbating…
Man – “but why doctor?”Dr – “Because I’m trying to examine you”
thefun
What do you eat after a presidential christmas dinner?
Impeach cobbler
Two government officials go on a diplomatic tour.
One night, they are invited to a dinner with several other officials from different countries. Having arrived at the dinner, the two officials see that… Read More »Two government officials go on a diplomatic tour.
Help!!! My stoneblock 2 world has some issues
Basically, I had a base in the mining dimension. Today, after logging on, the world was gone but it was in the saves. So I… Read More »Help!!! My stoneblock 2 world has some issues
Do boys get turned on when a girl sits on their lap?
Had to find out the hard way
Why did the Old man fall into a well ?
Because he couldn’t see that well
Looking For Advice on Connecting New Duct
Here is the situation I am dealing with: https://imgur.com/a/mw5BEZqOur furnace has always had a grill on the side of it to heat our basement (12”x6”).… Read More »Looking For Advice on Connecting New Duct
I’ve done a survey asking women what shampoo brand they used in shower.
99% of the respondents answered: “What are you doing here? Get out!”
Will glass coffins become a trend in 2020?
Remains to be seen.
Miss Piggy
Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 100?Because every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
My 4 year old son told me this one
He didn’t really, I just really need the upvotes right now
What starts with I, ends with I and has an I in it?
Answer: Illuminati
My friend and I were looking at a really fancy and expensive handbag
Her: I would die for thisMe: I would kill for thisAfter that we just stared weirdly at each other
My favorite word is “drool”.
It just rolls of the tongue.
I can accurately predict all the major events happening next year…
I have 20/20 vision.Happy holidays folks.
It’s funny when fat people say obesity runs in their family.
because nobody runs in their family
My friend can recognize a woman by looking at her breasts
He says they can hide their face, but they cannot hide their identitties
My dentist asked me if I floss between meals
“No, usually between teeth” I replied.
A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, “Some asshole wants to buy a half a head of lettuce.” As he finished… Read More »A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.
A warning to all.
Be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas. Quite rightly, police are out checking on people.Last night I went our for… Read More »A warning to all.
Why do the Hong Kong police get up early in the morning?
To beat the crowds.
My wife claims that I have zero empathy.
I don’t understand why she feels that way.
Little Leo enjoying himself
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It was probably your sister.
A girl told me to cut my penis off in a fan.It was probably your sister.She said fix the fan.It was broke in 2.
I’m gay
Lmao I’m not gay my boyfriend took my phone and posted that
Why did the kid get creeped out when he was with his uncle playing with an octopus?
Because he expected 8 but he got ten-tickles
This old bloke is in hospital.
This old bloke is in hospital.Tubes coming out of him, heart monitor, oxygen mask, the works.Nurse comes in to check on him.He seems agitated and… Read More »This old bloke is in hospital.
My 4 year old cousin wants me to tell you all this joke
Him: Why did the chicken cross the road?Me: Why?Him: To get to the idiot’s house(A few hours later)Him: Knock knock!Me: Who’s there?Him: The chicken