Pro tip: if you must speak in court, do not put air quotes…
Pro tip: if you must speak in court, do not put air quotes around “the law”. Judges hate that.
thefun
conclusion
How do we know that Cinderella was written by a women? Because if it was written by a guy the prince would have fucked her… Read More »conclusion
I’ve never understood why guys go to strip clubs.
I’ve never understood why guys go to strip clubs. If I wanted someone to flash their tits, come on to me, take my money, then… Read More »I’ve never understood why guys go to strip clubs.
except
I just explained Google images to my mum. ‘Pick anything to search for’, I said. She replied ‘What about a nice cream pie?’. ‘Except that.’… Read More »except
clinomania
Teacher: “Why were you absent yesterday? Were you sick?” Me: “Yeah, i was sick with Clinomania.” Teacher: ” Oh, okay. Excused.” Clinomania:(n) excessive desire to… Read More »clinomania
so hard
Mom: “Shouldn’t you be cleaning your room?” Me: “Shouldn’t you be in the Kitchen?” I’ve never been hit so hard.
always
I’m not an alcoholic; I just like having an attractive wife.
Hello
I got sent out of class once at school. The teacher shouted at me, “what would your parents say if I called them?” “Umm… Hello?”
question
Seriously, what if the astroid that hit Earth and killed all the dinosaurs was a UFO……. ……. and we’re the aliens……
familiar
Is it just me or the words “Lawyer” and “Liar” sound a bit too familiar….??