A man finds a genie in a bottle He rubs it.
A man finds a genie in a bottle He rubs it. A genie pops out “you have two wishes” The guy says “hold up, aren’t… Read More »A man finds a genie in a bottle He rubs it.
thefun
Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an…
Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an employee was using the following password: “VaderObiwanLukeBobafettGandalfFrodoGimliLegolasSacramento” When asked why he had such… Read More »Our company recently did a password audit, it was found that an…
Last night I was drunk and told myself I needed to stop drinking.
Last night I was drunk and told myself I needed to stop drinking. I went into the fridge the next day and grabbed a beer… Read More »Last night I was drunk and told myself I needed to stop drinking.
My father is Cuban and my mother is from Iceland.
My father is Cuban and my mother is from Iceland. So i am…… ….. an Ice Cube
My wife recently discovered I was cheating after she found all…
My wife recently discovered I was cheating after she found all those letters I’d been hiding. She got really mad and said she’s never going… Read More »My wife recently discovered I was cheating after she found all…
Sex is like pizza
Even when it’s bad, they still expect me to pay for it
I’m really not worried about anti-vaxxers…..
I’m really not worried about anti-vaxxers….. It’s a dying movement.
What small thing screams “I’m rich”?
What small thing screams “I’m rich”? A dwarf who just won the lottery.
A man walks into a bar…
The bartender asks “Why the long face?” The man replies “I just found out my wife is sleeping with another man. I’ve decided I’m going… Read More »A man walks into a bar…
Spoiler alert!
In “Matrix 4”, Neo is so old that he doesn’t hesitate to choose the blue pill.
I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I…
I hired a specialist aviation lawyer to deal with a dispute I had with an airport baggage handler. He lost my case.
Having sex with me is like microwaving food at 3am..
Having sex with me is like microwaving food at 3am.. The longest minute and a half of your life
I do what the voices in my wife’s head tells me to do…
I do what the voices in my wife’s head tells me to do…
You know how when you break up with someone, and see them later…
You know how when you break up with someone, and see them later and they have gained a lot of weight and that makes you… Read More »You know how when you break up with someone, and see them later…
I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store telephone…
I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store telephone numbers is doing nowdays ?
I have been nominated for a “25 pushups a day for 25 days”…
I have been nominated for a “25 pushups a day for 25 days” challenge… I blocked that person…
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb?
How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? All men are bastards !!!
My son was walking shirtless showing his 6 pack abs proudly and…
My son was walking shirtless showing his 6 pack abs proudly and said ‘This didn’t happen by accident’ I said ‘ if you ask your… Read More »My son was walking shirtless showing his 6 pack abs proudly and…
I was desperate and I couldn’t get a date with a girl to save my…
I was desperate and I couldn’t get a date with a girl to save my life until… I swiped right on a blind date, a… Read More »I was desperate and I couldn’t get a date with a girl to save my…
Hold it firmly in your hand, put it in your mouth, lick it,…
Hold it firmly in your hand, put it in your mouth, lick it, straighten it, and put it in the hole Man, threading a needle… Read More »Hold it firmly in your hand, put it in your mouth, lick it,…
When my wife said she’d be with me until I was old and gray I…
When my wife said she’d be with me until I was old and gray I did not realize she meant 37
I was in a job interview.
I was in a job interview. The man asked me to show him an example of leadership skills. “OK,” I replied. “I’m hired.”
Did you know
if you press the Clitoris and the G Spot at the same time, the vagina takes a screenshot and saves you in her memory forever
Front effect
All medicines have side effects. Only Viagra has front effects.
There’s lots of ways to show someone that you love them…
There’s lots of ways to show someone that you love them… Sex is my favorite.
A man and his wife went on a weekend trip to the big city
Tired of going from shop to shop and arguing with his wife about it, he stands outside the next shop in protest. While waiting a… Read More »A man and his wife went on a weekend trip to the big city
Boobs are like the sun
You can only stare at ‘em for a very short time. But if you wear sunglasses, you can stare at ‘em as much as you… Read More »Boobs are like the sun
Two aliens are flying near earth
Two aliens are flying near earth~ The first one says, “The dominant life form here have developed satellite based nuclear weapons.” The second one says,… Read More »Two aliens are flying near earth
Its been months since i bought the book “How to scam people online”.
Its been months since i bought the book “How to scam people online”. It still hasn’t arrive yet…
People still think there are vampires in Romania.
People still think there are vampires in Romania. But I haven’t seen one since 1645.