What do you call a girl who doesn’t give head?
What do you call a girl who doesn’t give head? An Uber.
thefun
My wife and I were going on holiday.
My wife and I were going on holiday. And we were discussing our secret sexual fetishes. She said she always wanted to be handcuffed. So… Read More »My wife and I were going on holiday.
Having too much sex can cause memory loss!
Having too much sex can cause memory loss! Oh and also, I can’t remember if I told you guys this but having too much sex… Read More »Having too much sex can cause memory loss!
My wife is pregnant, but due to Supply Chain issues we’re…
My wife is pregnant, but due to Supply Chain issues we’re expecting the baby early 2023
My GPS just told me to turn around.
My GPS just told me to turn around. Now I can’t see where I’m driving.
I was at a night club till 3 am yesterday celebrating my wife’s…
I was at a night club till 3 am yesterday celebrating my wife’s birthday. When I came back home, she was furious.
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“You are the first woman that has ever given me an orgasm,” I told the prostitute. “That’s not true,” she replied. “Of course it is,”… Read More ».,njnm km]
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made…
A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made love to a woman. The general replied “1956, ma’am.” The woman, in… Read More »A woman asked an Army General when the last time he had made…
A man walks into a brain store to buy a new brain He goes to the…
A man walks into a brain store to buy a new brain He goes to the clerk and says “Hello, I’d like to purchase… Read More »A man walks into a brain store to buy a new brain He goes to the…
I ate a small pizza, but it wasn’t enough, so I ate a bigger…
I ate a small pizza, but it wasn’t enough, so I ate a bigger one, and then a bigger one… They call it the dominoes… Read More »I ate a small pizza, but it wasn’t enough, so I ate a bigger…
A fast food worker gets home early from his night shift.
A fast food worker gets home early from his night shift. His wife asks him: “Why are you home so early?” He replies, “I put… Read More »A fast food worker gets home early from his night shift.
Was working a drywall gig with 3 other guys, we smoked a joint…
Was working a drywall gig with 3 other guys, we smoked a joint after we pulled up to the job. Later on the older lady… Read More »Was working a drywall gig with 3 other guys, we smoked a joint…
Two behavioral psychologists have sex.
Two behavioral psychologists have sex. When they finish, one says to the other, “wow, you really enjoyed that! How was it for me?”
Why do I always feel great on Saturday and Sunday, and sick on…
Why do I always feel great on Saturday and Sunday, and sick on all the other days? Maybe I just have a weekend immune system.
You know those movies when the guy pushes stuff off the table,…
You know those movies when the guy pushes stuff off the table, thrusts a girl on it, and fucks her? I just did that, but… Read More »You know those movies when the guy pushes stuff off the table,…
Women drinking coffee.
Women drinking coffee. My three favorite things.
On our first date.
On our first date. Her: I really like men who plan ahead. Me: That’s why I drank 2 litres of pineapple juice today.
False alarm
I’m devastated. I just had a look at my doctor’s notes and he’s written that after my accident, I’ll never be able to wank again.… Read More »False alarm
Friends are like boobs some are real some are fake
Friends are like boobs some are real some are fake
Give a man a fish, you’ll feed him for a day.
Give a man a fish, you’ll feed him for a day. Teach him how to fish, and you can sleep with his wife while he’s… Read More »Give a man a fish, you’ll feed him for a day.
Sex is like golf, Playing every hole is the goal.
Sex is like golf, Playing every hole is the goal.
I beat my wife at dominos the other night.
I beat my wife at dominos the other night. She needs to learn that I choose the pizza toppings.
King Arthur got cursed with a strange disease and only an old…
King Arthur got cursed with a strange disease and only an old ugly witch can cure him. But the witch demanded a young handsome knight… Read More »King Arthur got cursed with a strange disease and only an old…
My mate asked “what’s the secret to your happy marriage?” I…
my mate asked “what’s the secret to your happy marriage?” I replied.. “Chemistry… I’m on valium and the hubby’s on Prozac”
Did you know, anti-vaxxers don’t last as long in bed?
Did you know, anti-vaxxers don’t last as long in bed? …especially if the bed is in a hospital.
A Lady goes to confession.
A Lady goes to confession. Lady: I think I am pregnant. Priest: How did this happen my child? Lady: I think it might have been… Read More »A Lady goes to confession.
I went to the acupuncturist the other day.
I went to the acupuncturist the other day. When I got home my voodoo doll was dead
I got fired from the keyboard factory today…
I got fired from the keyboard factory today… It seems I wasn’t putting in enough shifts.
A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat…
A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance,… Read More »A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat…
What is James Bonds code name when he is abroad?
What is James Bonds code name when he is abroad? +4407