Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete? Because she wanted to see the task manager
thefun
Once you start buying cheap brakes…..
Once you start buying cheap brakes….. You won’t be able to stop
We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it…
We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE… Read More »We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it…
a new drink at the bar
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender to give him a glass of “Less.” “Less?” I’ve never heard of it,” the bartender… Read More »a new drink at the bar
Pfizer is coming out with a Loyalty Card, after your 12th…
Pfizer is coming out with a Loyalty Card, after your 12th booster you get a free pizza… Provided you’re still alive.
How many politicians does it take to solve a problem?
How many politicians does it take to solve a problem? Trick question, nobody knows, because it’s never happened.
Australia said: “No one can come without vaccination”.
Australia said: “No one can come without vaccination”. Djokovic understood: “No 1 can come without vaccination”.
After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to re learn the…
After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to re learn the basics. Like how to walk, how to talk, how to… Read More »After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to re learn the…
She got a text that said ” what are you doing ?” which she…
she got a text that said ” what are you doing ?” which she answered with ” probably failing my drivers test “
My wife phoned me and said I’m so excited, I just tried on my…
My wife phoned me and said I’m so excited, I just tried on my wedding dress and after 10 years it still fits. Of course… Read More »My wife phoned me and said I’m so excited, I just tried on my…
My memory foam pillow is so old….. …That it was diagnosed…
My memory foam pillow is so old….. …That it was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
I think you are wrong.
– In a scale 1 to 10, how much do you like to argue? – Would it be possible to make the scale from 1… Read More »I think you are wrong.
Not invited
I received a wedding invitation. It read, “Your presence itself is a present. We don’t want any presents at the wedding.” After re-reading it repeatedly,… Read More »Not invited
We should let Netflix run the next pandemic… …they don’t let…
We should let Netflix run the next pandemic… …they don’t let anything last more than three seasons.
Pair of
A husband and wife are having dinner at a fancy restaurant when a couple looking absolutely gorgeous walk in “What a pair!” says the wife… Read More »Pair of
I just watched a beautiful naked woman do stand-up comedy.
I just watched a beautiful naked woman do stand-up comedy. Never laughed so hard in my life.
Mixed signals
She kept staring at my lips the whole time, so I kissed her. So long story short I’m learning sign language now.
Surprise
I met a woman last week who said she wanted a guy who’s funny and spontaneous Yet when I tapped on the window late at… Read More »Surprise
Some marriages have a happy ending…
Some marriages have a happy ending… It’s called divorce.
nice wish
I wish you a happy New Year and for it to finally start looking like your photos on Instagram!
almost come
The man’s wife informed him that there was a plumbing leak just as he was leaving for work. He advised her to contact a plumber… Read More »almost come
Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia on a…
Why did Novak Djokovic pay for his flight to Australia on a Mastercard? Because his Visa didn’t work!
Eraser
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight… “This is exciting,” thinks the gentleman.… Read More »Eraser
How Swede it is.
My wife insisted that we go to Stockholm in vacation. I didn’t want to go at first, but now, I don’t want to leave.
The wife then has to finish it off herself.
Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex. They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse… Read More »The wife then has to finish it off herself.
husband’s funeral
A woman goes to her husband’s funeral and bursts out laughing. People ask her why she’s laughing? And she replies: We’ve been married 30 years,… Read More »husband’s funeral
What do you call a society of depressed people?
What do you call a society of depressed people? A melancholony.
All my life, I never imagined I’d wake up at 6am and go…
All my life, I never imagined I’d wake up at 6am and go jogging….. …..And I was right.
Only one
Why don’t aliens visit our Solar System? They read the reviews – just one star.
Reason
Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently. When they… Read More »Reason