– TASS (Russian news agency) is authorized to state that the…
– TASS (Russian news agency) is authorized to state that the cruiser “Moscow” is participating in a special underwater operation!
thefun
Why are virgins so chill?
Why are virgins so chill? Zero fucks given.
The newlywed couple come back from their honeymoon.
The newlywed couple come back from their honeymoon. The bride’s mother asks the groom: Did you enjoy “the whole thing”? The groom answers: Yes, I… Read More »The newlywed couple come back from their honeymoon.
I walked up to a fit girl at a bar the other night and said,
“Hey gorgeous, can I buy you a drink?” She said, “Do you like sex?” I said, “Of course I like sex.” She said, “Do you… Read More »I walked up to a fit girl at a bar the other night and said,
I went to a strip club at lunchtime today but it wasn’t open.
I went to a strip club at lunchtime today but it wasn’t open. The sign on the door said, “Sorry, we’re clothed!”.. ?
Her: Our sex life has really improved Therapist: Why do you…
Her: Our sex life has really improved Therapist: Why do you think that is? Her: I’ve learnt how to appreciate the small things in life
fuhgdat1019
Being a college student is hard. Every day, you have to clear up your schedule and make time to sit down and focus, find the… Read More »fuhgdat1019
I still wear a mask… because I no longer remember how to…
I still wear a mask… because I no longer remember how to control my facial expressions in public ?
Had a warning from Facebook for a joke so here is the edited…
Had a warning from Facebook for a joke so here is the edited version ? **** ***** *********** *** **** *** ****** *** * ****… Read More »Had a warning from Facebook for a joke so here is the edited…
So I noticed my wife put on some weight lately For her birthday…
So I noticed my wife put on some weight lately For her birthday I got her a dress 2 sizes smaller with a note “I’m… Read More »So I noticed my wife put on some weight lately For her birthday…
Why are the Russian forces in Ukraine using the symbol “Z”?
Why are the Russian forces in Ukraine using the symbol “Z”? Because the other half of the swastika fell off due to poor Russian maintenance.
I’d never be unfaithful to my wife…
I’d never be unfaithful to my wife… I love my house too much.
When love fades…
Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife’s lovely voice from the kitchen. “What would you like for… Read More »When love fades…
A husband and wife sit down for a serious discussion.
A husband and wife sit down for a serious discussion. The husband holds his wife’s hand and says “I know I haven’t been the best… Read More »A husband and wife sit down for a serious discussion.
Volodymyr Zelenskyy is the greatest comedian of all time.
Volodymyr Zelenskyy is the greatest comedian of all time. He even turned Vladimir Putin into a joke.
Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians Sometimes…
Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians Sometimes Ukrainian saboteurs try to pass off as Russian troops. The easiest way to identify them is… Read More »Guide for Russian troops: How to identify Ukrainians Sometimes…
They say size doesn’t matter But imagine how many lives would be…
They say size doesn’t matter But imagine how many lives would be saved if putin had normal size dick.
What’s the difference between Putin and Hitler?
What’s the difference between Putin and Hitler? Hitler knew when to kill himself
When I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes made into a very…
When I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes made into a very large butt plug….. that way, I can continue to be… Read More »When I die, I want to be cremated and my ashes made into a very…
I keep hearing about a chip shortage, so I’m stocking up on Doritos.
I keep hearing about a chip shortage, so I’m stocking up on Doritos.
In Soviet Russia troops withdraw forward
In Soviet Russia troops withdraw forward
By Jimmy Carr
Russians are sending peacekeepers into Ukraine. They’re saying, ” You see this piece of land? We’re keeping it.”
A guy turned to his wife who was reading her book and asked…
A guy turned to his wife who was reading her book and asked How’s your book? Interesting read? She replied: well, the only way I… Read More »A guy turned to his wife who was reading her book and asked…
I decided to donate my body to science For the time being, I’m…
I decided to donate my body to science For the time being, I’m following a routine to preserve it with ethanol until they need it.
I’m going to hire a private investigator to find out what I do…
I’m going to hire a private investigator to find out what I do all day 🧐
What do you call when a brothel offers a discount?
What do you call when a brothel offers a discount? Hole-sale
I’m currently in a love triangle I like this girl, this girl…
I’m currently in a love triangle I like this girl, this girl likes nobody, and nobody likes me.
I’m beginning to think that when you call customer service…
I’m beginning to think that when you call customer service there’s never a time when they aren’t “experiencing higher than normal call volumes”
Switching my wife’s life support machine off was very difficult.
Switching my wife’s life support machine off was very difficult. You try and fight off two doctors, a nurse and a security guard.
Woke up with a massive hardon this morning .
Woke up with a massive hardon this morning . Pissed it away !