My wife and I split up because of Psychological reasons….
My wife and I split up because of Psychological reasons…. She was Psycho, and I was Logical
thefun
How do you call the mouth of a smoker?
How do you call the mouth of a smoker? the exhaust pipe
I broke up with a girl once because she was having hallucinations.
I broke up with a girl once because she was having hallucinations. She said “Carl, I.. can’t see you anymore”… That was weird. I was… Read More »I broke up with a girl once because she was having hallucinations.
Grey hair is hereditary.
Grey hair is hereditary. You get it from your children.
ratings
Movie ratings are an indication of who gets the girl Rated G – the prince gets the girl. Rated PG – the hero gets the… Read More »ratings
You shouldn’t take my class on reverse psychology
you shouldn’t take my class on reverse psychology
Tired of losing money in the stock market?
Tired of losing money in the stock market? Come visit our online casino.
Do you remember
Do you remember before the internet, people thought that the lack of information was the cause of stupidity? Yeah, well that definitely wasn’t the cause.
They say the sea is salty from the tears of sailors.
They say the sea is salty from the tears of sailors. After being on a ship for months with only men, I can assure you… Read More »They say the sea is salty from the tears of sailors.
Tits – natural anti-stress balls!
Tits – natural anti-stress balls! The irony is that they come attached to the most effective thing to create stress!
I have a foot fetish…
I have a foot fetish… I have tried using meters but it just doesn’t work for me.
Ladies…No guy has ever said…
Ladies…No guy has ever said… I’d screw her, if her eyelashes were a little longer.
What Ricky Gervais said after taking some digs at fat people at…
What Ricky Gervais said after taking some digs at fat people at a show “I don’t want fat people to feel uncomfortable at my gigs.… Read More »What Ricky Gervais said after taking some digs at fat people at…
adaptability
I came for an interview … And fell asleep on the couch. I say: “See how quickly I adapt to a new place.”
I lost my job as a wine taster.
I lost my job as a wine taster. I was fired for not drinking on the job.
People who don’t eat cheese because they are lactose intolerant……
People who don’t eat cheese because they are lactose intolerant… …need to learn to be more accepting of different cultures
I attended a meet called “How Stop Taking Things Literally”….
I attended a meet called “How Stop Taking Things Literally”. “What brings you here?” asked the host on my first day. I said, “My legs.”
When I was little, a strange man stepped out of a time machine…
When I was little, a strange man stepped out of a time machine and punched me for no reason! So I’ve worked all my life… Read More »When I was little, a strange man stepped out of a time machine…
never!
At what age did Chuck Norris lose his virginity? Trick question, Chick Norris never loses!
My Boss rang me and apologised for not believing I was sick….
My Boss rang me and apologised for not believing I was sick…. Then, He told me he’d seen my posts on thefun.net and realised that… Read More »My Boss rang me and apologised for not believing I was sick….
I drink beer because I’m too lazy to walk.
I drink beer because I’m too lazy to walk. They say you should walk 10000 steps, the AA only requires 12
People say I mangle metaphors, but you can’t make an omelet…
People say I mangle metaphors, but you can’t make an omelet without beating a few dead horses.
During the upcoming birth of Maria Sharapova, the staff of the…
During the upcoming birth of Maria Sharapova, the staff of the maternity hospital runs the risk of becoming deaf.
Russia’s only high-precision weapon is a television.
Russia’s only high-precision weapon is a television. It affects the brain, even if it is not …
Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Job interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: I would say my biggest weakness is listening.
My vagina is like the local gym,” said my wife. “What?” I asked….
My vagina is like the local gym,” said my wife. “What?” I asked. “Hot and sweaty?” “No,” she replied. “Only a few members use it… Read More »My vagina is like the local gym,” said my wife. “What?” I asked….
When a sex worker gives you a discount, you’re getting a…
When a sex worker gives you a discount, you’re getting a holesale price.
Why are women and salads opposites?
why are women and salads opposites? You dress a salad right before you eat it
Tolstoy’s great-grandson and Dostoevsky’s…
Tolstoy’s great-grandson and Dostoevsky’s great-great-granddaughter began working together on a sequel to their great ancestors called “War, Peace and Idiot.”
“Dad, if we kill all the bad people, will there be any good ones…
“Dad, if we kill all the bad people, will there be any good ones left?” – No, son, there will be only killers.