Miracle
Guys I need your help desperately. I’m in the middle of a huge argument with my wife and she just told me I’m right !!!… Read More »Miracle
thefun
For our holiday I told my wife I had booked a trip around the…
For our holiday I told my wife I had booked a trip around the world “Can’t we go somewhere else ” she said
– I’m your secret admirer. – Why is it secret?
– I’m your secret admirer. – Why is it secret? – My wife doesn’t have to find out.
I went to the hospital to solve the problem with hemorrhoids,…
I went to the hospital to solve the problem with hemorrhoids, but they could not help me. It is necessary to wait normally for a… Read More »I went to the hospital to solve the problem with hemorrhoids,…
To the genius who invented one ply toilet paper…
To the genius who invented one ply toilet paper… I’d like to shake your hand.
WARNING!
WARNING! Alec Baldwin has arrived in the UK and due to start shooting soon.
My sense of humor is a lot like COVID Tasteless, not good for…
My sense of humor is a lot like COVID Tasteless, not good for large groups, and anyone who gets it is pretty sick.
My wife said she’s not with me cause I have money, she just…
My wife said she’s not with me cause I have money, she just likes my company.
Income tax..
Income tax.. The fine you pay for being a productive part of society. Welfare.. The reward you get for being an unproductive leech on society.
They fired me from my job because I’m too insecure.
They fired me from my job because I’m too insecure. Never mind, the mail server was down for a while.
at least one of them
An old man was attending his wife’s funeral. The preacher walked up to him and said, “May she rest in peace.” The man replied, “I… Read More »at least one of them
Self employed
How is sex like applying for a job Everybody wants experience but you can’t get experience unless you already have experience
Dog years
A thirty year old man goes to a psychiatrist… Psychiatrist: How long have you been married? Man: 42 years. Psychiatrist: How is that even possible?… Read More »Dog years
Peace
Joe Biden called a press conference, to discuss his meeting with Vladimir Putin… “The good news, is that Mr Putin told me that he wants… Read More »Peace
Eat your dinner, there are people starving in Africa” said my…
Eat your dinner, there are people starving in Africa” said my wife I replied : “Lets have sex then because there are horny men…. basically… Read More »Eat your dinner, there are people starving in Africa” said my…
My wife bites her lip to look sexy……….
My wife bites her lip to look sexy………. I just don’t have the heart to tell her you’re meant to bite the bottom lip.
My wife and I sometimes roleplay in the bedroom with me as a…
My wife and I sometimes roleplay in the bedroom with me as a weatherman I forecast 6+ inches lasting for a couple of hours. It… Read More »My wife and I sometimes roleplay in the bedroom with me as a…
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?
Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete? Because she wanted to see the task manager
Once you start buying cheap brakes…..
Once you start buying cheap brakes….. You won’t be able to stop
We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it…
We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it turns out it was actually our ability to SELECT EACH IMAGE… Read More »We thought it was our ability to love that made us human, but it…
a new drink at the bar
A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender to give him a glass of “Less.” “Less?” I’ve never heard of it,” the bartender… Read More »a new drink at the bar
Pfizer is coming out with a Loyalty Card, after your 12th…
Pfizer is coming out with a Loyalty Card, after your 12th booster you get a free pizza… Provided you’re still alive.
How many politicians does it take to solve a problem?
How many politicians does it take to solve a problem? Trick question, nobody knows, because it’s never happened.
Australia said: “No one can come without vaccination”.
Australia said: “No one can come without vaccination”. Djokovic understood: “No 1 can come without vaccination”.
After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to re learn the…
After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to re learn the basics. Like how to walk, how to talk, how to… Read More »After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to re learn the…
She got a text that said ” what are you doing ?” which she…
she got a text that said ” what are you doing ?” which she answered with ” probably failing my drivers test “
My wife phoned me and said I’m so excited, I just tried on my…
My wife phoned me and said I’m so excited, I just tried on my wedding dress and after 10 years it still fits. Of course… Read More »My wife phoned me and said I’m so excited, I just tried on my…
My memory foam pillow is so old….. …That it was diagnosed…
My memory foam pillow is so old….. …That it was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.
I think you are wrong.
– In a scale 1 to 10, how much do you like to argue? – Would it be possible to make the scale from 1… Read More »I think you are wrong.
Not invited
I received a wedding invitation. It read, “Your presence itself is a present. We don’t want any presents at the wedding.” After re-reading it repeatedly,… Read More »Not invited