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thefun

question

What’s black and begins with “Nig”? Night. You racist bitch

for patent

Bartenders should put a pink straw in every women’s fourth drink. This would be a signal for men that she is ready.

virus

A highly dangerous virus called “Weekly Overload Recreational Killer” (WORK) is currently going around. If you come in contact with this WORK virus you should… Read More »virus

until

Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two drinks.

chances

71 killed in Nigeria as a result of a bus explosion. What are the chances all on board are millionaires with no family and my… Read More »chances

question

“My mind is telling me nooo… But my body…My body’s telling me yesss…BABY” Cashier: Ma’am…would you like fries with that or not?

no joke

~To make it stand, you wet it.~ ~To make it wet, you suck it.~ ~To make it stiff, you lick it.~ ~To get it in,… Read More »no joke

instead

I wish more of my handcuff stories involved sex, instead of police officers.

candy or money

I don’t know what’s happening in this country. You’ve got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. It’s a nightmare –… Read More »candy or money

long cuddle

I like a good long cuddle with my girlfriend after sex. It’s the quickest way to deflate her.

the sum

A little boy was doing his Math homework. He said to himself, Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six,… Read More »the sum

for yourself

War is when the government tells you who the enemy is. Revolution is when you figure it out for yourself.

proposal

HIM:”What do I need to buy for you to make me some guacamole?” ME:”A wedding ring.”

better things

As I picked up the largest cucumber in the supermarket a man also went to grab for it.Β “Oh, I bet you know why I want the biggest one,” I playfully winked at him. “Why don’t you come back to my place and find out what I will be using it for?”Β 

Read More »better things

reflection

There’s a story they tell of two dogs.Both at different times walk into the same room.one comes out wagging his tail while the other comes… Read More »reflection

question

Do you need glasses? β–‘ Yes β–‘ No                   βœ”

obsession

My wife left me because of my obsession with The Beatles. It’s been a hard day’s night.

happy end

I watched a directors cut of a porn film last night. At the end of the film, he actually fixed the washing machine.

easier

Sometimes I think that divorce would be easier than putting together the furniture my wife bought at IKEA.

enough reach

I don’t want to be a millionaire, I just want enough money to be able to stare off into the distance while pumping gas.

never

I’ll never forget the day I got married. I’ve tried everything: drugs, alcohol, even hypnosis.

mistake

“Well, the woodpeckers were a mistake.” Said Noah, as the ark started to sink…