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thefun

forgot

If you are happy and you know it, You probably forgot that tomorow is Monday

about the apple

Eve: “I got an apple” Adam: “…” Eve: “what?” Adam: “I thought we agreed on Android.” Eve: “Well the serpent said this was better.”

shock

My girlfriend just sat me down and confessed to me that she used to be a Christian. It came as quite a shock……. I’ve only… Read More »shock

multiplayer

Sex is like video games, single player is good But wait until you discover multiplayer.

distance

I can’t take this long distance relationship anymore, I’m moving the fridge into my room.

potential

I don’t have a smartphone. I have a phone that shows potential, but doesn’t apply itself.

No sex

I came home from work last night and told my wife that I’ve been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my… Read More »No sex

Propose

How men propose: “I love you more than life itself and I can’t see myself living without you. Will you make the happiest man in… Read More »Propose

for fun

*At school* Teacher: Remember, the “f” in Physics stands for fun. Me: But sir, there is no “f” in Physics Teacher: Exactly.

worry

My doctor said I needed to reduce stress. Great, now I have to worry about that too.

your dragon

Going to How to Train Your Dragon tomorrow… Or marriage counselling as the wife calls it.

magical words

wife : Tell me those three magical words.. husband : it’s my fault.

to finish

Wife says to husband, “You make love like you decorate.” Husband replies, “What very slow and professional?” “NO,”she replies, “I have to finish the job… Read More »to finish

mirror

im at the age where food has taken over the role of sex in my life….as a matter of fact i put a mirror above… Read More »mirror

pay for not going

Gyms should offer a membership package where you pay for everyday you don’t go.

cockroaches

In the event of a nuclear war the only things that will survive are the cockroaches. Which means we should still have a functioning government.

guardian

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I call myself a ‘Guardian of the Galaxy.’ I’m a security guard at the Samsung store….

missing

I spent the entire day throwing darts at a picture of my wife. *wife phones* Wife: What you doing? Husband: Missing you

only dust

I decided to get rid of my vacuum cleaner today. It was just collecting dust.

change name

I’ve changed my name to Getov, so it sounds like girls are shouting my name during sex.

funny joke!

I was in a serious relationship once. We never smiled.

funny joke!

MEN: If you ever want to know what a woman’s mind is like…… Just imagine a browser with 2,857 tabs open. ALL. THE. TIME.