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thefun

let me..

“Please, just let me finish.” I said to my wife during an argument last night. “No I will NOT let you finish!” she yelled, pulling… Read More »let me..

JOKES

Having sex for money is illegal but most girls know clever tricks to get around it such as marriage.

One day a young boy is going into the kitchen to get some cookies.

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One day a young boy is going into the kitchen to get some cookies. In the kitchen he runs into his grandpa who is drinking some whiskey. He asks “What’s that grandpa, can I have some?”
In response grandpa asks “I don’t know, can you touch your dick to your asshole?”
Taken aback the boy says “no” “Well when you can touch your dick to your asshole, come back here and I’ll share my whiskey with you.” Slightly offended Read More »One day a young boy is going into the kitchen to get some cookies.

strange

A buddy of mine told me he found himself in a strange place after his divorce. He was standing in his kitchen.

texting

I just saw a status posted by a female friend that said “I love my new car, I’m in heaven!” from a mobile device. It… Read More »texting

application

There’s no problem that the proper application of alcohol can’t solve.

not a big deal

I had a shit in 3 different shops today.That may not seem like a big deal. But only 1 of them had a toilet.

anywhere

A guy walks into a bar and sees a gorgeous woman nursing a drink. Walking up behind her he says: “Hi there, good lookin’. How’s… Read More »anywhere

watch out

A funeral service is being held in a church for a woman who has just passed away. At the end of the service, the pall-bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall, jarring the casket. They hear a faint moan. Read More »watch out

Confront

I see the U.S. will provide financial aid to Ukraine if the leaders confront corruption. Because if anything stops corruption, it’s bribing someone to stop… Read More »Confront

difference

Playgrounds 1991 – My dad’s tougher than your dad 2014 – My mum’s tattoos are better than your mums.

fun fact

Women will think you are lying, even when you’re not.

probably

If one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

religion

“Religion is here, so the poor don’t murder the rich” Napoleon Bonaparte

it’s time

As I sat there, twirling my hair in my fingers, I thought… I really need to shave my balls…

with what

Some bloke accused me of trying to pick pocket him today. “You’re too slow for me” he laughed. “Now fuck off before I call the… Read More »with what

turn on

When I undress in the bathroom, the shower gets turned on.

moment

Me: “This is a heart touching moment” Her: “No, you have your hands on my boobs”

remember

Can you explain how this lipstick got on your collar? asked a suspicious wife. No, I can’t, the husband said. I distinctly remember taking my… Read More »remember

element

I’ve been suspended from school for another three days. When my science teacher asked me what my favourite element was, karate chopping her and saying… Read More »element

check

I have a doctors appointment tomorrow for an MRI to find out if I’m claustrophobic.

fun fact

Fuck a woman and she’ll love you…love a woman and she’ll fuck you!

complaint

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I’m absolutely disgusted! Easter is almost over and I can’t find any christmas cards on sale yet.

in my

There’s a part of me that just wants to be loved… and it’s in my pants.

alarm clock

I don’t really like the term “Morning Wood.” I prefer to call it “Jodi’s Alarm Cock.”