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thefun

reverse

Philosophy of marriage : At the beginning, every wife treats her husband as GOD.. Later, somehow don’t know why.. alphabets get reversed.

working

His girlfriend left him a note on the fridge. “It’s not working, I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to my Mother’s house.” He opened… Read More »working

obsession

My wife said she’s leaving me because of my obsession with the Internet. Worse than that my son Google agrees with her.

excuses

Having some alcohol- every woman’s excuse for wanting to get laid. Having a penis- every man’s excuse for wanting to get laid.

selfies

Got a passcode lock that takes a picture whenever someone tries the wrong code to look in my phone. I now have fifty pictures of… Read More »selfies

Trust

I can’t get out of bed. These blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now, I might lose their… Read More »Trust

I’m here

I’ll call it a “smart” phone the day I yell “Where’s my phone?!” and it answers, “I’m here! Under your jacket!”

literally

It’s hard to explain jokes to kleptomaniacs, because they always take everything literally.

long time

Took the wife out for dinner last night & I was just about to order the steak when she said, “Why don’t you try something… Read More »long time

advice

the best relationship advice i can give you is make sure you’re the crazy one…

reminder

Sometimes, my secretary reminds me of my wife.γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€γ€€ I was unbuttoning her blouse the other day, and she said, “Remember, you have a wife.”

boring

You`re so boring, if you threw a boomerang, it wouldn`t come back to you.

new way

‘Lite’, the new way to spell ‘light’, now with 20% fewer letters.

True fact

High heels were originally created for men. Butchers used them to avoid stepping in blood. They were also used as weapons befor they became fashion… Read More »True fact

actually

I love the internet becuase its the one place where people from all different cultures can socialize and share ideas and…….wait, which folder did my… Read More »actually

Busy hands

My son came home from school the other day with a massive bIack eye… I said, “Where the fΓΉck did you get that from?” “Billy… Read More »Busy hands

the first

Kid: God made the first man and woman right? Pastor: Indeed Kid: And they were naked in this garden, right? Pastor: Well, yes Kid: And… Read More »the first

replacement

The β€˜L’ in my luck has been replaced with an β€˜F’.

funny

The Internet is a funny place man. 1 minute you’re checking your e-mail, and next thing you know it’s 4 hours later, your pants are… Read More »funny

birthday

I’m sorry for getting so drunk on your birthday that people thought it was my birthday.

cheating

While my girlfriend was showering I took a sneaky look at her Internet browsing history. I was shocked to see her last search was, ‘how… Read More »cheating

disappointed

Someone just used my driveway to turn around. Now I’m standing outside with two open beers and a lonley face.

glasses

The doctor said I needed glasses.. I assume he meant glasses of alcohol because I feel so much better now.

to buy mom

A young boy went to a horse auction with his father. He watched his father move from horse to horse, running his hands up and… Read More »to buy mom