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thefun

Lesbians can also take Viagra.

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Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don’t have to swallow it, they can just let it melt on their tongues.

Step by step

Instructions for falling down stairs… Step 1       Step 2               Step 4                       Step 8

Over…

After my girlfriends father died we decided to get married stood on his grave. Well he did say I could marry his daughter over his… Read More »Over…

Fantasy

My husband asked me dress up as a nurse tonight to fulfill his fantasy…that we have Health Insurance!

for a minute

“I’ve been cheating on you,” I said to my wife . She said, “Really? Honestly? You lousy bastard.” “And furthermore,” I said, “she says I… Read More »for a minute

Good morning

If you have to drink more than 3 cups of coffee in the morning, maybe you should switch to cocaine.

modes

I seem to have two modes: Sleep is for the weak, and then sleep for a week.

Role play

Me: Officer before you arrest me, can I use this get out of jail card? GF: This is why we don’t role play.

Don’t understand

If someone doesn’t call back after 2-3 calls, chances are they’re just not that into you. I wish these debt collectors would understand that.

Service

“So you’re telling me you carry a customer’s groceries to their car free of charge?” I asked the bag boy at the supermarket this morning.… Read More »Service

Present

My wife said I could do whatever I liked on my birthday. So I’m flying to Brazil to start a new life.

Worth

If someone needs to watch a flight attendant demonstrate how to fasten a seatbelt, is their life really worth saving?

Cards

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“Do you accept cards as payment?” I asked the lad in the takeaway. “Of course, Sir”, he replied, smiling. “Great”, I replied, “this one is… Read More »Cards

Not husband

Wife:dear,this computer is not working as per my command. Husband:its a computer not a husband……!!!

Or…

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Man: You look pretty today. Woman: Did I look bad yesterday? It was my hair wasn’t it? You think I’m fat.

So far

I hate how Monday is so far away from Friday but then Friday is so close to monday.

Have fun

Having sex without taking your clothes off is the most fun you can have without taking your clothes off.

Regret

Do I regret is? Yes. Would I do it again? Probably. – A summary of most of my decisions.

Morse code

If I ever get a chance to appear on daytime TV, I’m going to say: Cunt, cunt, fuuuuck, shit!! Cock, fuck, cuuuunt!! Shiiitt, fuck, shiiitt,… Read More »Morse code