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thefun

cheating

If you get a new job before you quit your old one, its considered responsible; however, if you do that with your girlfriend it’s considered… Read More »cheating

revenge

Women have the ability to keep smiling even when they’re planning revenge.

strangers

I get really fucking pissed off when complete strangers ask me a lot of personal questions. So no… the job interview didn’t go very well.

diaper

How many blondes does it take to change a diaper? Ask Hugh Hefner.

surprise

My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday

without

I love watching women’s Curling during the Olympics. It’s the only time I can drink beer while cheering on a woman sweeping a broom…without getting… Read More »without

one more

I pulled my wife bleeding from the wrecked car, as she screamed and pleaded for me to let her have one more shot at parking… Read More »one more

holding

Got a porno the other day, I put it in the DVD player but it was just a dark blurry picture of some guy holding… Read More »holding

faster

Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from an ugly picture.

believing

Insanity is believing your hallucinations are real. Religion is believing other people’s hallucinations are real.

wrong

Hello sir, we’re from your internet provider. You’ve recently said that “homosexuality is wrong,” so we’ve blocked you from seeing lesbian porn.

short cut

I walked into a barbershop today. The guy said, “Can I help you sir?” I said, “I just need a short cut”, as I walked… Read More »short cut

boxer

This girl was chatting me up at the pub. “So, what do you do for a living?” she asked, batting her eyelids over her glass.”… Read More »boxer

nobody

I danced like nobody was watching and now I need a lawyer.

so good

Shouting, constantly rearranging stuff and sweeping. No wonder women are so good at curling!!

remove

My wife is one of those people that can spot the humour in any given situation. And quickly remove it.

replacement

We should place the elderly in prisons because they will get a shower everyday, video surveillance in case of problems, three meals a day, access… Read More »replacement

prank

My favorite thing to do at the library is leave browser tabs open with search results for “Best way to clean cum off a keyboard?”

fault

it’s my girlfriend’s fault I slept with all her friends…. she’s the one that told them I have a huge cock!!

without

Valentine’s Day is just a massive hassle bruh. I need to: 1. Remember to text my girlfriend a long lovey dovey message at the beginning… Read More »without

trick

I can’t believe I actually tricked a woman into sleeping with me. All I had to do was buy her a ring and live with… Read More »trick

downside

I was making a sandwich when I thought to myself, “So, there is a downside to divorce”.