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What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don’t know, he hasn’t opened it yet.
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What’s the difference between a feminist and a grenade?
Grenade actually accomplish something when it triggers.EDIT : NOT FROM USA NOR WHITE
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My wife made us late and we missed the previews before new movie Cats…
…I hate when she makes me miss the best part of movies
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I want to die like my grandfather, sleeping calmly.
Not like the passengers on his bus, screaming intensely.
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If you’re here for the yodeling lesson
please form an orderly orderly orderly queue.
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My buddy wrote a comedy routine about menorahs.
It was just a bunch of candle shtick.
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I walked into a bookstore and asked an employee “Do you have any books by Shakespeare?”
Employee: Of course sir. Which one?Me: William.
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What do you call a sheep tied to a lamppost in Wales?
The local sports centre
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What’s the difference between a coyote and a flea?
One howls one the prairie, the other prowls on the hairy
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Yesterday a bought a pair if shoes from a drug dealer.
Don’t know what he laced them with ’cause I’ve been tripping all day