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What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A roamin’ catholic
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I threw a boomerang a few years ago.
I now live in constant fear.
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My friend asked me what the name of that famous ice cube movie was.
I replied, “Titanic?”.
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What’s the difference between a lightsaber and pants with insults written on them?
One is disarming, the other is diss leggings.
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Why does Tinkerbell never wear trousers?
She Peter Pans.
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The supermarket cashier asked if I wanted to donate food to Africa to help solve world hunger.
I said, “no thanks. World hunger will be solved a lot faster if we stop feeding them.”
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My three favorite things are…
Eating my family and not using commas.
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My wife and I are into S & M
She sleeps and I masturbate.
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JOKESTER
What if they’re not stars, but holes poked in a jar lid so we can breathe…
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JOKESTER
Because of all the commercialism and materialism, I’ve decided I’m not going to celebrate Christmas anymore.
So feel free to buy me a present anytime of the year that you want.