Skip to content

Jokes

  • Bonus

    She used Vaseline to give me a hand job and I came three times in the shower trying to wash it off.

  • Quotes

    ‘Laughing At Your Own Mistakes, Can Lengthen Your Life.”
    – Shakespear
    “Laughing At your Wife’s Mistakes, can SHORTEN your Life….” – Shakespear’s Wife

  • Difference

    Before marriage you realize the importance of sex. ….
    After marriage you realize the importance of masturbation

  • Remember

    life is not a fairy tale. if you lose a shoe at midnight, you are drunk.

  • Tricked

    You said they were laughing with me…
    -well played tequila….well played 😒

  • 50% of marriages fail… if you were going skydiving and they…

    50% of marriages fail… if you were going skydiving and they told you only 50% of the parachutes opened… would you still fucking jump

  • Not alone

    FAVORITE SEX POSITION:
    Really doesn’t matter as long as I’m not by myself!!!

  • Leading

    A recent study shows that the leading cause of pregnancy in Ireland ….
    Is Guinness!

  • Forever

    “We’re going to be together for the rest of our lives,” smiled my girlfriend as we flew out to our dream holiday in Hawaii. 
    “You seem pretty sure of yourself,” I replied. 
    “I am,” she said, gazing out the window. “The left wing’s fallen off and the engine’s on fire.”

  • “I bet you your car, house, savings, and dignity that you can’t…

    “I bet you your car, house, savings, and dignity that you can’t make me happy for the rest of my life.”
    -Women