Welcome to TheFun.Net, a growing collection of funny jokes in one place. You will find short one-liners, dirty jokes, bar jokes, marriage jokes and plenty of classics worth sharing. New jokes are added all the time, so pick a category and start laughing. In a hurry? Start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. Strictly for adults, there are 200 dirty jokes too.
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JOKESTER
Well it’s that time of year again when the fat bastard with the beard brings around a load of shit presents…..
Man, I hate the Mother in law
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Grade school question, what day doesn’t end in “Y” ?
Tomorrow.
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Having a mobile makes it really easy to cheat on my wife.
My son stands behind her and texts me what cards she’s got in her hand.
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John gets pulled over on the highway for speeding…
John: “Is there a problem officer?”Cop: “You exceeded 80 in 55 zone. May I see your license?”John: “ahhhh, why don’t I spare you the trouble, officer? I don’t have a license, so I shouldn’t be driving this car that I jacked from this dude I just killed. The gun I used is right here in the glove box and his body is in that trunk”Cop: “Holy shit!”The cop contacts his PD and in moments there are more cops everywhere. The chief of police steps up.Chief: “Sir, may I see your license?”John: “Sure”John had his licenseChief: “May I see the vehicle’s owner registration?”John: “Sure”
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How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing, it’s on the house.
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Got some sad news today
Got some sad news today. After 7 years of medical training, my good friend has been struck off after 1 minor indiscretion.He slept with 1 of his patients & now can no longer work in the job he loves. What a waste of time, training & money. A genuinely nice guy, and a brilliant vet.
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What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I feel like I’m coming down with something
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
-0.89594417018= cos(789)
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What is a good but cheep G-Sync monitor with around the 144hz?
Running a 2070 super.
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A man goes to the doctor for stomach and throat problems.
A man goes to the doctor and complains, “Doc I don’t know why but every morning before I leave for work I dry heave and almost vomit!”The doctor says, “Well describe your morning routine to me, if you would.”The man says, “Well my alarm goes off, I get up and have a glass of juice and some toast, maybe a bowl of cereal and I take a shower and get dressed and go to work!””and before you leave you dry heave?””Yes! I stand over the trashcan nauseous and I gag and almost lose breakfast!””Hmm… I think I must have missed something… repeat your routine for me””My alarm goes off. I get out of bed. I put toast in the toaster and get some juice. I sit down at the breakfast table and eat, and then I take a shower, get dressed and go to work! And before I leave for work I gag into the trashcan. It’s very unpleasant and uncontrollable.””So you get breakfast and then take a shower?””Yes I get some toast and a glass of juice or a coffee and I read the paper at the table and when I’m done with breakfast I take a shower and sort of plan my day while showering and then I dry myself off and get dressed and that’s always about when my stomach is flopping around in my throat.””Well I think I found the problem. You definitely need to stop reading the newspaper.”