I have no idea why this cop is so pissed off!
I have no idea why this cop is so pissed off! I yelled “just kidding” and IMMEDIATLY gave him his gun back!
Police Jokes
Police jokes and cop humor that will not get you a ticket. From donut cliches to speed traps and the classic good cop, bad cop routine, these funny police jokes arrest your attention and refuse to let go. Pull up a chair, you have the right to remain laughing.
Not a Damn Thing
So a Police Officer pulls over a little old lady in a car going a bit too slow…Police officer asks the usual, “…know why I… Read More »Not a Damn Thing
We all know that hygiene is important But I laundered all my…
We all know that hygiene is important But I laundered all my money and now I am being arrested.
A politician who had been dating a woman decides to investigate…
A politician who had been dating a woman decides to investigate her background before proposing. So he hires a private detective to snoop on her.… Read More »A politician who had been dating a woman decides to investigate…
Good idea
My girlfriend said, “You act like a detective too much. I want to split up.” “Good idea,” I replied. “We can cover more ground that… Read More »Good idea
Police: Who the hell ordered all these pizzas?
Police: Who the hell ordered all these pizzas? Me: You said I had one phone call…
I got arrested for downloading the whole Wikipedia.
I got arrested for downloading the whole Wikipedia. I told them I could explain everything.
Police arrested a time traveller from 2018.
Police arrested a time traveller from 2018. He still can’t believe that he was arrested for not wearing a mask in a bank.
2 minutes
The police have just released my mother-in-law after questioning her about the murder of her husband. They only spoke to her for 2 minutes before… Read More »2 minutes
Friendly advice
A cop drives past my open garage in California, and notices my plants and grow lamps. He stops and shouts, “You better not be growing… Read More »Friendly advice
JOKESTER
When a sketchy guy wearing a mask and gloves rings your doorbell at night: 2019: OH MY GOD CALL THE COPS!!! 2020: Yay! Dinner’s here,… Read More »JOKESTER
Why some of us might drink…..
The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the… Read More »Why some of us might drink…..
The Mature Lady
A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding… Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?Traffic Cop: Yes ma’am, I’m afraid you were speeding.Older Woman: Oh,… Read More »The Mature Lady
A man is at his house when he hears a loud knock on his door
He looks out the window and sees a police officer so he opens up and says, “hello officer, what can I do for you?” the… Read More »A man is at his house when he hears a loud knock on his door
Wife Missing
My wife has been missing for a week. The police called me and said to prepare for the worst. So I went back to Goodwill… Read More »Wife Missing
A cop pulls over a car with two priestS. The cop goes over to the car and says “We’re looking for two child molesters.”
The priests look at each other for a moment and reply, “We’ll do it.”
Has anyone ever gotten a response about the God paradox?
Basically,Can an omnipotent being create a stone so heavy that it cannot lift it?Some other versions of it are like:whether God could create a triangle… Read More »Has anyone ever gotten a response about the God paradox?
My sister won’t let me hold her baby anymore…
Last time I held my sister’s baby, I dropped it. It wasn’t even a big deal, but she started freaking out. It was an accident!… Read More »My sister won’t let me hold her baby anymore…
Good news – the Sting impersonator that was taking money to play gigs and then ran off with the money…
… has turned himself into The Police.
John gets pulled over on the highway for speeding…
John: “Is there a problem officer?”Cop: “You exceeded 80 in 55 zone. May I see your license?”John: “ahhhh, why don’t I spare you the trouble,… Read More »John gets pulled over on the highway for speeding…
Why did the eagle with a cold get arrested?
He was an ill-eagle.
Two cups find a mirror on the floor.
One cop picks it up and says, “Hey, this face looks familiar.”He hands the mirror to the second cop, who looks at it, and says,… Read More »Two cups find a mirror on the floor.
A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives.
To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first blonde a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your… Read More »A policeman was interrogating 3 blondes who were training to become detectives.
A cop cought me doing donuts in the parking lot.
It was sad. Donuts was always such a good dog.
We don’t serve pandas in here…
A panda walked into a restaurant and ordered a meal. After the panda ate, he shot the waiter and left. They called the police and… Read More »We don’t serve pandas in here…
A warning to all.
Be careful about drink driving as we are getting close to Christmas. Quite rightly, police are out checking on people.Last night I went our for… Read More »A warning to all.
Why do the Hong Kong police get up early in the morning?
To beat the crowds.
My neighbor just got arrested for growing weed in his back yard.
Apparently my property line isn’t where I thought it was.
Young woman on Soho crosswalk killed by box truck reversing the whole block and our dumbo NYPD “suspect no criminality”
A “gruesome scene” according to the Daily News. “The truck went in reverse on Broadway from Canal St. north to Howard St., where it struck… Read More »Young woman on Soho crosswalk killed by box truck reversing the whole block and our dumbo NYPD “suspect no criminality”
I hate people who take drugs
like policemen and customs officers.