Why did the band “Rage against the machine” got arrested at the airport ?
Because they release another bombtrack
Police Jokes
Police jokes and cop humor that will not get you a ticket. From donut cliches to speed traps and the classic good cop, bad cop routine, these funny police jokes arrest your attention and refuse to let go. Pull up a chair, you have the right to remain laughing.
When encountered by two paths, the boy took the path not taken
He was later found dead by the police.
“Your mom” jokes are getting old so here’s a “your dad” joke to shake things up.
Your dad is so horny that he called 911 to ask for a police escort.
Drunk driver
Police officer to a drunk driver: How high are you? Driver : it is “Hi, How are you”, sir.
Police were investigating a murder in Ten City…
The victim was Andrew Pun, and the suspects were his family members. They were extremely wealthy, and had a pure blood line spanning out across… Read More »Police were investigating a murder in Ten City…
A Blonde Phone Call to Mom
Hi Mom, it’s me. “Hi Sally, are you okay? I thought you were with your father at the Ace Hardware store, looking for a drill.””Yeah,… Read More »A Blonde Phone Call to Mom
I had a kid in the back of a police car
i named it nina
T-Boned by a Police Officer who was placed at fault for the crash the city attorney denied my claim both medical and property what are my options now?
As I said above in October a police officer ran a red light tboning me and one other driver. No lights were seen or sirens… Read More »T-Boned by a Police Officer who was placed at fault for the crash the city attorney denied my claim both medical and property what are my options now?
A man very sadly died recently after breaking into a brewery and falling into a vat of beer
However, the police are treating his death as suspicious as the CCTV footage shows him getting out 3 times to take a piss.
A man get caught by the police speeding.
The officer asked the man if he knows why he got pulled over. The man replys that he was speeding because the cars stolen and… Read More »A man get caught by the police speeding.
Purple lemon
So this little boy is in the playground when some bullies come along, and they say to him:“Hey, purple lemon, you suck!”And the boy doesn’t… Read More »Purple lemon
Has anyone of you been affected by minister Saab’s convoy?
Posting the same from r/Hyderabad.I was at kbr for an evening walk. It was around 7, and that’s usually the busiest hour. Roads were jammed… Read More »Has anyone of you been affected by minister Saab’s convoy?
A blonde, a brunette and a readhead were running away from the cops.
A blonde, a brunette and a readhead were running away from the cops. They spot a barn and they all run inside where the see… Read More »A blonde, a brunette and a readhead were running away from the cops.
Donald Trump is with his driver and he is on the way to an important meeting. He’s running a bit late.
Trump: can you please speed up a little, the meeting will start shortly and we’re quite far away The driver : I can’t really Mr… Read More »Donald Trump is with his driver and he is on the way to an important meeting. He’s running a bit late.
Someone stole the tires off all the police cars.
The cops are working on it tirelessly.
It’s not about how many times you fall.
It’s not about how many times you fall. It’s about how many times you get back up. Cop: That’s not how field sobriety tests work,… Read More »It’s not about how many times you fall.
Neither me
Cop: Sir, are you drunk? Me: No, occifer. Cop: Step out of the car and say the alphabet backwards, please. Me: zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba Cop: I’m impressed,… Read More »Neither me
Negotiate
The kidnapper rang and said to me, “€10,000 and you get your wife back.” “Negotiate with him!” advised the policeman. “€20,000 and she’s all yours.”… Read More »Negotiate
I told you
Cop: you know why I pulled you over? Me: cause you wanted to see how tall I am? Cop: step out of the car, sir.… Read More »I told you
Forgive
Today I went to confessional at my local church. I said to the priest: “forgive me father for I have sinned, it’s been six months since my last confession.”
He asked what I would like to confess so I told him: “I’m going to bl@ckmail somebody father.”
“Why?” He asked.Read More »Forgive
the perfect candidate
A man was being interviewed for a post of a commando in Army! Interviewer: We want a person with suspicious mind , always alert, merciless,… Read More »the perfect candidate
funny joke!
A policeman stopped me today. As I stepped out of the car he said, “Sir, what did the big sign say back there?” “Children, Slow… Read More »funny joke!
with what
Some bloke accused me of trying to pick pocket him today. “You’re too slow for me” he laughed. “Now fuck off before I call the… Read More »with what
A little boy was lost in a large mall.
A little boy was lost in a large mall. He approached a policeman and said, “I’ve lost my dad!” The cop asked, “What’s he like?”… Read More »A little boy was lost in a large mall.
instead
I wish more of my handcuff stories involved sex, instead of police officers.
one minute
I was in my car driving back from work last night. A police officer pulled me over and knocked on my window. I said, “One… Read More »one minute
police smartphone
In North Korea, they developed the first-ever smartphone, just like an iPhone. But if you ask Siri any questions, she reports you to the police.
like most people
Do you think regular dogs hate police dogs like most people hate policemen?
I was arrested today over a slight misunderstanding at work.
I was arrested today over a slight misunderstanding at work. Apparently taking your work home is classified as ‘theft’ when you work in a ‘Bank’
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