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Marriage Jokes

Marriage jokes for anyone who has said I do and lived to laugh about it. From nagging spouses to selective hearing and the joys of a shared bank account, these husband and wife jokes poke fun at wedded life in all its glory. Read a few to your other half, if you dare.

f job

My wife filed for divorce when she found out I was in porn… what a hypocritical bitch, she was the one that told me to… Read More »f job

bad language

Just tried to remember the Macarena and wound up telling some deaf girl I fucked her husband.

trhreesome

NSA agent: honey I’m home Wife: how was work? NSA agent: it was great, i had phone sex threesome with a couple and they didn’t… Read More »trhreesome

advice

I ignored my doctor’s advice and ended up in hospital. I maybe should have stopped banging his wife.

special day

I lost my job and my wife on the same day. …Thank you Mega millions

for my wife

People look at me strange when I buy tampons at the supermarket. “They’re for the wife,” I say patiently, as I pack them away. Then… Read More »for my wife

horndog

At the marriage counselor, my wife says, “I do SO enjoy sex! But this horndog wants it five or six times a YEAR!”

like her

A completely wasted man walked into a bar and after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over… Read More »like her