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Marriage Jokes

Marriage jokes about husbands, wives, weddings and anniversaries. Funny truths about married life that every couple will recognize.

dedication

I’ve been married to my wife ten years today. Having sex with just one person in ten years is pure dedication. I don’t know how… Read More »dedication

waiting game

My wife and I took out life insurance policies on each other — so now it’s just a waiting game.

fingers

My wife was complaining that I never lift a finger around the house. So I did, The middle one.

institution

Someone once said to me, “You’re insane! You should be in an institution!” I said to them, “I’m married” You know what they say, marriage… Read More »institution

more beer

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At the bar, Bizi orders 10 beers. An hour later, he orders 10 more. What does he have? …A wife and 4 fucking kids…

pills

My wife said “get some of those pills that help you get an erection”, should have seen her face when I tossed her the diet… Read More »pills

numbers

Husband: Honey, how many men have you slept with? Wife: 30…. Husband: I wish you’d have been a virgin when I married you. Wife: I… Read More »numbers

lipstick

My wife found lipstick in my pocket. I told her straight up that I was cheating on her………..there was no way I was gonna tell… Read More »lipstick