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Marriage Jokes

Marriage jokes about husbands, wives, weddings and anniversaries. Funny truths about married life that every couple will recognize.

picture

I was going to buy some Viagra when the cashier asked what I needed it for…. Without saying anything I whipped out a picture of… Read More »picture

birds

Once upon a time, they were known as love birds. Then they found love and got married. Now, they’re angry birds!

chance

My wife said “Tell me you love me”. I replied, “Give me a fucking chance, I’m only on my 8th beer”.

Some advice:

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half shut after.

explanation

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wife:”could you explain to me why I woke up this morning with a cucumber up my arse? ” husband:”could you explain to me, why you… Read More »explanation

Never lie to a smart woman!

Never Lie to a smart woman…
A man called home to his wife & said, “Honey I’ve been asked to go fishing in Canada with my boss & friends… We’ll be gone for a week.. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion i’ve been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week,set out my rod & fishing box . We’re leaving from office & I will swing by the house to pick my things .. Oh and Please pack my new blue silk pajamas..” The wife thinks about this, being a good wife she did exactly as her husband said.. The following Weekend he came home a little tired but looking good.. Read More »Never lie to a smart woman!