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Marriage Jokes

Marriage jokes for anyone who has said I do and lived to laugh about it. From nagging spouses to selective hearing and the joys of a shared bank account, these husband and wife jokes poke fun at wedded life in all its glory. Read a few to your other half, if you dare.

drunk forever

Kid:Daddy why did you and mommy divorce? Dad:Well your mother couldn’t keep me drunk forever…

our sofa

I walked in today and my wife slammed the laptop down on the table and said, “There’s pictures of naked women on the laptop, what… Read More »our sofa

always

I’m not an alcoholic; I just like having an attractive wife.

while I sleep

My wife says I talk while I sleep. But I’m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it.

prank

My father-in-law is hilarious. He recorded the lotto numbers from a news broadcast the night before on DVR then picked a ticket containing those numbers… Read More »prank