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Marriage Jokes

Marriage jokes for anyone who has said I do and lived to laugh about it. From nagging spouses to selective hearing and the joys of a shared bank account, these husband and wife jokes poke fun at wedded life in all its glory. Read a few to your other half, if you dare.

unless

They say drugs and alcohol isn’t the answer. Unless they ask”What’s the secret to a happy marriage?”

ignoring

Wife: What’s that beeping?” Me: “That’s my seat belt alarm.” Wife: “How can you ignore something so annoying?” Me: “Huh?”

one more

I pulled my wife bleeding from the wrecked car, as she screamed and pleaded for me to let her have one more shot at parking… Read More »one more

remove

My wife is one of those people that can spot the humour in any given situation. And quickly remove it.

downside

I was making a sandwich when I thought to myself, “So, there is a downside to divorce”.