Christmas
The only time of year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of a sock.
Holiday Jokes
Holiday jokes for every season of celebration, from Christmas crackers and New Year gags to Halloween scares and Easter puns. This is your one-stop stash of festive humor to lighten up the family gathering, the office party or the long drive home. Warning: contains a high number of dad-level puns.
Elfie
If one of Santa’s helpers takes a picture of himself with his smartphone, is that an “elfie”?
“Don’t open that wardrobe!” shouted my wife as I was just about…
“Don’t open that wardrobe!” shouted my wife as I was just about to, “Your Christmas present is in there!” “Too late,” I said, pulling open… Read More »“Don’t open that wardrobe!” shouted my wife as I was just about…
Letter
Dear Santa,
I don’t know if you can do this, but for christmas, I’d like for my mammy and daddy to get back together.Please see what you can do?”
Love Teddy.
break the rule
Today, I was cleaning the garage and found our old christmas lights. I noticed that the label said “for indoor and outdoor use only”. I’m… Read More »break the rule
complaint
I’m absolutely disgusted! Easter is almost over and I can’t find any christmas cards on sale yet.
without
Valentine’s Day is just a massive hassle bruh. I need to: 1. Remember to text my girlfriend a long lovey dovey message at the beginning… Read More »without
My apartment is full of Valentine’s Day cards.
My apartment is full of Valentine’s Day cards. I’m not that popular, I’m just a really lazy mail man!
My wife asked what I wanted for Valentine’s Day.
My wife asked what I wanted for Valentine’s Day. I said I wanted a blowjob. She’s all, “no silly, something I can buy you.” So… Read More »My wife asked what I wanted for Valentine’s Day.
valentine
I said to this girl, “Will you be my valentine?” “Talk to the hand,” she replied. “I did,” I said, “but he’s tired of being… Read More »valentine