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Holiday Jokes

Holiday jokes for every season of celebration, from Christmas crackers and New Year gags to Halloween scares and Easter puns. This is your one-stop stash of festive humor to lighten up the family gathering, the office party or the long drive home. Warning: contains a high number of dad-level puns.

probably

People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.

to explain

If only God can judge us than Santa has some explaining to do.

Christmas period

Tampax has announced that they will be removing the string from tampons and replacing it with tinsil. This is for the Christmas period only.

witch

Last Halloween I shouted to the wife “Baby there’s at witch the door, what should I do?” She shouted “Give her some candy and tell… Read More »witch

Halloween

This Halloween I’m dressing up as a plate. Girls love to do dishes.

pissed

Last year, I brought my boyfriend home to meet my family for Christmas. My husband was pissed!

surprice

So I got a job at McDonald’s recently, and I spent the whole day giving out fake engagement rings with couples’ meals. Best Valentines Day… Read More »surprice

resolution

New Years Resolution: -Date more models. -(Revised) Date more girls. -(Re-revised) Date a girl. -(Re-re-revised) Talk to a girl. -(Re-re-re-revised) Find a girl. -(Re-re-re-re-revised) Cry… Read More »resolution