What did Lady Macbeth say to her dog?
Out, damned Spot! Out, I say!
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
Justice is best served cold.
Because if it were served warm, it would be justwater.
My wife just sent me this text: “Thespacebaronmykeyboardstoppedworking.canyoupleasegivemeanalternativewhenyougethometonight?”
Pretty excited… but does anyone know what “ternative” means?
I just rear ended a car and damaged the bumper.
It was an accident
Exact time uranium lasts?
On small grid small reactor, running at full power, how many minutes will it last with 1 uranium?
Crazy Story
So I was at a restaurant with my family and this woman came up with a child. She looked about 40 with blonde hair. The… Read More »Crazy Story
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I get surprised whenever I see a shower thought that’s dirty…
You’d think, that coming out of the shower, they’d be clean.
Two tourists visited Rome. What happened?
They two roamed restlessly!
Bob has no arms
Knock knockWho’s thereNot Bob
An old, beat up sedan rear-ends a shiny, sleek coupe.
The sedan’s owner, an old man, gets out and shuffles to the front of his sedan to examine the damage. A younger couple rushes out… Read More »An old, beat up sedan rear-ends a shiny, sleek coupe.
What does the pop musician say to the jazz musician?
To the airport please.
What animal is never hungry at Christmas?
The turkey! It’s always stuffed!
Is it possible to recover from Margarine Fondling Syndrome?
My cousin Jeff had it, said he’s feeling butter now.
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
Beat it. We’re closed.
A measuring cup got sent to prison
He was found guilty in the quart of law for litering
A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he’s hopelessly lost.
It’s been nearly three weeks since he’s eaten anything besides what he couldforage and he’s been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees.One afternoon… Read More »A man is out in the Chinese wilderness and he’s hopelessly lost.
A man walks into a grocery store.
A man walks into a grocery store. After getting all his groceries, he sees something interesting at the check-out counter. Not knowing what it is,… Read More »A man walks into a grocery store.
People really need to appreciate sidewalks more
Who else kept you off the streets growing up?
Why are dogs afraid to go to space?
Because of the vacuum.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC
Because it’s finger likin good
Why are guitarist good with women?
We know are way around a G String.
Ten chimpanzees are standing in a line.
The 1st, 3rd, 5th, and 7th chimps are asked to step forward.They are the prime apes.
Why did Niki Minaj start melting when she used vaseline?
Because vaseline breaks down plastic
Refrigerator noises at 3 AM
They say ghosts aren’t exist, but we all know that the random loud noise the refrigerator makes at 3 AM is some ghosts tryna still… Read More »Refrigerator noises at 3 AM
My 0.5-year-old cousin wants to tell you all this joke
people who make up stories and say it was their “4-year-old cousin”
HER: kids grow up so fast these days
ME: I know, it was scary when I asked my daughter how old she was and she held up three fingers.HER: exactly!ME: she wouldn’t tell… Read More »HER: kids grow up so fast these days
Why are eggs bad bomb defusers?
They easily crack under pressure.
We don’t serve pandas in here…
A panda walked into a restaurant and ordered a meal. After the panda ate, he shot the waiter and left. They called the police and… Read More »We don’t serve pandas in here…
I hope Attack on Titan and Tekken have a crossover
A Tekken Titan would be great!