weird
Giving a girl flowers is weird… “here, I killed these for you… I saw them, and, they reminded me of you so… I killed them.… Read More »weird
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
numbers
Husband: Honey, how many men have you slept with? Wife: 30…. Husband: I wish you’d have been a virgin when I married you. Wife: I… Read More »numbers
Immature.
Immature. A word used by boring people to describe fun people.
ATM asks
ATM asks if I want to donate to charity. Sure! Donate my transaction fee.
sense
It would just make a lot more sense if the devil was a woman.
before
I have to exercise real early in the morning. Before my brain has a chance to figure out what I’m doing.
scanning
I just sneezed then my laptop said ‘Scanning for viruses’. WTF
Monday
It’s Sunday today, and if you are listening really carefully, you can hear how Monday is sharpening it’s claws.
lipstick
My wife found lipstick in my pocket. I told her straight up that I was cheating on her………..there was no way I was gonna tell… Read More »lipstick
magnet
We call her magnet because she attractive from the back and repulsive from the front.
snail
A snail can travel over a razor blade without cutting itself. Or to put it another way, sometimes scientists get bored.
tha last night i…
The best moments in life are the ones you can’t put on Facebook
bad man
I’m atheist… But I still want the people I hate to burn in hell.
long time to finish
Having sex with a condom is a lot like eating Cheerios with chopsticks. I’m still going to enjoy it but its going to take me… Read More »long time to finish
your life/wife
One million copies of a new book sold in just 2 days due to typing error of one alphabet in title “An idea, that can… Read More »your life/wife
delete history
I wish my computer would stop asking me stupid questions. Of course I’m sure I want to clear my browser history.
drunk forever
Kid:Daddy why did you and mommy divorce? Dad:Well your mother couldn’t keep me drunk forever…
right arm
Girl: Do you play tennis? Me: Why? Girl: Well, your right arm seems a lot more firm than your left. Me: Yeah I play tennis
My wife told me to leave a tip for our waitress. “OK” I said,…
My wife told me to leave a tip for our waitress. “OK” I said, motioning to the waitress, “don’t ever get married”
android
“yea you can use my charger, mine is full” -no Android user ever
last meal
I’m having a relaxing bath and I think my girlfriend is making me a sandwich! YES! I assume anyways since she’s bringing the toaster into… Read More »last meal
*Drives into drive-thru* May I take your order?
*Drives into drive-thru* May I take your order? No. *Drives away.*
stupid
I was painting my room with my brother when I realised. he’s not a very good brush.
huge…
Q. Lisa has 750 friends on Facebook. A week later she adds 150 more to her friends list. What does she have? A. Huge tits.
every picture
I don’t get why people say, “Here’s a picture of me when I was younger.” Every picture is when you were younger.
someday I will…
I propose we add a day to the week and call it “someday”. Just imagine all the stuff that would get done on that day.
James: My name is Bond.
James: My name is Bond. James bond. Dumbledore: My name is Dumbledore. Brian dumbledore. Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Albus Percival Wulfric Brian… Read More »James: My name is Bond.
eating my popcorn
A farmer and a pet rooster went everywhere together. One day they went to a movie and as the farmer got close to the ticket… Read More »eating my popcorn
not on fb
I don’t always tell my mother how much I love her. but when I do, it’s not on facebook!!
welcome to the jungle
I was getting ready to have sex with my girlfriend hazardous and she decided to put on some music I was confused on why the… Read More »welcome to the jungle