secret
Victoria’s Secret? You’ll never look like the girls in the ads.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
hairy
Just how hairy was the guy, who invented the shampoo “Head n Shoulders”?
keep up
Boss: “You’re not suppose to be drinking on the job!” Me: “You’re not suppose to cheat on your wife.” Boss: “Keep up the good work”
Quit quoting me, girls.
Quit quoting me, girls. I was a whore. Not a philosopher! – Marilyn Monroe
to them
Her: excuse me I’m up here. Me: excuse me i was talking to your boobs.
wondering
sometimes I spend entire meetings wondering how they get the big meeting table through the door
plans
I never plan on drinking as much I do. …which is why I no longer make plans.
to the right place
My wife called me today to tell me that the car wouldn’t start. I said, “Honey, when I’m not there you have to sit in… Read More »to the right place
selfie
Art History Fact: the Mona Lisa is one of the most famous selfies.
it’s time
I started arguing with my gf a lot, we rarely have sex anymore and we can’t stand each other either… I think we’re ready to… Read More »it’s time
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both…
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
copying and pasting
You know you’re online sex relationship isn’t working out when you discover she’s been copying and pasting her orgasms.
settle
With all the housework that I’ve done today, my boyfriend should give me a gold medal… But I’ll settle for a pearl necklace.
This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
This guy at the gym just did 3 sets of selfies.
dirty
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.
complete dick
At the end of the year the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a synagogue.
While checking the books he turned to the Rabbi and said “I notice you buy a lot of candles, what do you do with the drippings?”Read More »complete dick
politely
I don’t care if you’re here to murder me – we take our shoes off in this house.
blow bubbles
I just walked up to a girl while she was chewing gum. I asked her if she could blow bubbles. she siad, “Who’s Bubbles?”
worked
Just been caught playing with myself….. Now everyone knows my cloning experiment worked!!
more now
If I had a nickel for all the times I’m confused, I would be like, “Why do I have these nickels? What is going on?… Read More »more now
healthy
They say that eating Subway is healthy, so I always eat some after I leave McDonald’s.
doesn’t help
Apparently studying 3D geometry with 3D glasses on doesn’t help.
different
My wife said, “Honey, let’s do something different tonight.” “What did you have in mind?” I asked. “I want you to imagine I’m a slutty… Read More »different
I wish Facebook would notify me when people delete me.
I wish Facebook would notify me when people delete me. That way I can ”like” it.
yesterday
Friend:”You look pretty today!” Me: “Umm..was I ugly yesterday?”
holding
Little Johnny is out walking with his dad when they see two dogs shagging on the other side of the road. “What are they doing,… Read More »holding
doesn’t work
I don’t understand some politicians… “Government doesn’t work. Elect us and we will prove it. “
Last day
I have got to stop living every day like it could be my last. The hangovers are killing me…
losing
I remember my Dad telling me, “Son. Only ever gamble what you don’t mind losing.” It was the last thing he said to me before… Read More »losing
nice name
I always wanted to name my first daughter after my first love… but my wife thinks that “nutella” is not the right name for her!!