ready
I always have skis mounted on the roof of my car just in case I flip it and land in the snow.
Fun jokes
Funny jokes for every mood, all gathered in one place. This is the heart of TheFun.Net, a growing collection of the best jokes we have found and loved, from quick one-liners to longer stories worth the read. New funny jokes land here all the time, so there is always a fresh reason to smile.
good hangover
I don’t even call it a hangover anymore. It’s just morning.
time to stop
I keep getting bombarded with emails about penis enlargement. I wish my wife would stop it.
Ive never caught my penis in my zipper…
Ive never caught my penis in my zipper… See a small penis is too good for something.
A taxi driver asked me “Aren’t you going to give me a tip?
A taxi driver asked me “Aren’t you going to give me a tip? I replied “Of course, Don’t work too long into the night”
My buddy asked me, “Do you know how the Native Americans said…
My buddy asked me, “Do you know how the Native Americans said hello?” So I say, “How?” “Oh, you already knew.”
surprise
Pretty sure I know what my wife’s getting me for my birthday cause when I guessed, “A 3-way?” she got all angry like I ruined… Read More »surprise
hidden
tHis is A VEry Serious tEXt post WITH no hidden MEaning.
third
If the earth is the 3rd planet from the sun, doesn’t that make every country a third world country?
so bad
The economy is so bad Mcdonalds employees are asking customers, Can you afford fries with that?
smartphone
I bought my girlfriend a smart phone. It calls 911 as soon as she starts her car.
same resume
I can’t stand it when women say “I bet you say that to all the pretty girls.” Of course I fucking do. Don’t you use… Read More »same resume
fairtyle
I had a fairytale childhood. My Grandma was eaten by a wolf.
characters
I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
real psych
I called the psychic hotline by mistake tonight. A woman answered and said, “Don’t worry, your pizza is on its way.”
victim
Seriously, how can it be considered stealing when my neighbour’s WiFi signal was trespassing in MY house? I’m the victim here!
go to study
Asian kid: My blood test came back. Im B- Asian parent: Go to room & study til blood is A+
F is for friends who do stuff without you.
F is for friends who do stuff without you. U is for ur alone. N is for no one wants to be with you because… Read More »F is for friends who do stuff without you.
secret
Victoria’s Secret? You’ll never look like the girls in the ads.
hairy
Just how hairy was the guy, who invented the shampoo “Head n Shoulders”?
keep up
Boss: “You’re not suppose to be drinking on the job!” Me: “You’re not suppose to cheat on your wife.” Boss: “Keep up the good work”
Quit quoting me, girls.
Quit quoting me, girls. I was a whore. Not a philosopher! – Marilyn Monroe
to them
Her: excuse me I’m up here. Me: excuse me i was talking to your boobs.
wondering
sometimes I spend entire meetings wondering how they get the big meeting table through the door
plans
I never plan on drinking as much I do. …which is why I no longer make plans.
to the right place
My wife called me today to tell me that the car wouldn’t start. I said, “Honey, when I’m not there you have to sit in… Read More »to the right place
selfie
Art History Fact: the Mona Lisa is one of the most famous selfies.
it’s time
I started arguing with my gf a lot, we rarely have sex anymore and we can’t stand each other either… I think we’re ready to… Read More »it’s time
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both…
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
copying and pasting
You know you’re online sex relationship isn’t working out when you discover she’s been copying and pasting her orgasms.