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Doctor Jokes

Doctor jokes and medical humor to cure a bad mood, no appointment needed. From questionable diagnoses to waiting-room woes and doctors with a terrible bedside manner, these funny doctor jokes are just what the comedian ordered. Take two and call us in the morning.

False alarm

I’m devastated. I just had a look at my doctor’s notes and he’s written that after my accident, I’ll never be able to wank again.… Read More »False alarm

Doctors advice

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My doctor told me I have to give up half my sex life. I asked which half, thinking about it or talking about it?

Dentist: “This is going to hurt a bit.

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Dentist: “This is going to hurt a bit. Ready?” Me, shutting my eyes, dreading this moment: “Yes, ready.” Dentist: “That will be $700 please.”

No chance

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, “Your husband… Read More »No chance

A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex, so naturally, she agrees and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says…

“Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time?”Of course, the wife agrees and they… Read More »A man returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this prognosis, the man asks his wife for sex, so naturally, she agrees and they make love. About six hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says…

JOKESTER

i saw a sign in the hospital this morning that read ‘family planning – use the rear entrance’ thats damn good advice, i thought!

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