I farted and blamed it on the dog.
It was a lie of emission.
Animal Jokes
Animal jokes that are the cat’s pajamas. From dogs and cats to cows, penguins and the odd talking parrot, this collection is clean enough for kids and silly enough for everyone else. Perfect for a quick giggle or a groan-worthy pun to share with fellow animal lovers.
a horse, a pediatrician and a fish walk into a bar
the horse stands in place, the fish dies and pediatrician just missed his shift
I think my dog ate all of the a scarbble tiles
He keeps dropping hints around the house
In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University .
On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed,… Read More »In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Louisiana State University .
The Left media need to decide on a strategy to tackle the influence of the Right media.
If you think about all the celebrities, movie stars, sports stars, comedians, all the late night shows, you’d think conservatives would have no chance.But in… Read More »The Left media need to decide on a strategy to tackle the influence of the Right media.
I ordered a chicken and an egg on Amazon
I’ll let you know
So yesterday someone replaced a fifth of my ducks.
Well, that sucks.
What did Lady Macbeth say to her dog?
Out, damned Spot! Out, I say!
Why are dogs afraid to go to space?
Because of the vacuum.
Was in a room full of people and the dog walked up and sat right next to me!!!
Sadly, I was at the airport and it was a drug dog.
A dog is not just for christmas
It can do for sandwiches on boxing day too.
Miss Piggy
Why can’t Miss Piggy count to 100?Because every time she gets to 69 she gets a frog in her throat.
My 4 year old cousin wants me to tell you all this joke
Him: Why did the chicken cross the road?Me: Why?Him: To get to the idiot’s house(A few hours later)Him: Knock knock!Me: Who’s there?Him: The chicken
A small quiz
Think of a number between 2 & 5. Now times it by 9. Now take the sum of the two numbers in that number(example: 42:… Read More »A small quiz
Where do shepherds go for a drink?
Bar Bar Black Sheep
Which animal has the biggest mood swings?
A Bi-polar bear.
It takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong
and it takes a bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut.
If you give a mouse a cookie…
He’s going to ask if he can use it to improve your internet browsing experience.
Him: All my female sheep ate some fermented berries and have gotten drunk and passed out, should I tell the coroner?
Her: No, that’s a ewe problem; not a ME problem.
Why did the polar bear cross the road?
Because of global warming.
Why are pigs so smooth?
They use oinkment!
[$1400-2000, USA] Windows Computer for After Effects, Photoshop, and gaming. Include Monitor (dual if possible), keyboard, and mouse.
I know that’s a pretty broad range, but I would like to see some options. I’m coming from a late 2014 27″ iMac. It has… Read More »[$1400-2000, USA] Windows Computer for After Effects, Photoshop, and gaming. Include Monitor (dual if possible), keyboard, and mouse.
I have a plan to transplant a rabbit’s cerebellum into a human skull.
It’s a hare-brained scheme.
What do Donald Duck and Donald Trump have in common?
They’re both named Donald!
Pavlov walks into a bar when the bell rings
He stares, “oh shit, I forgot to feed my dogs”
It makes sense that the Right to Bear Arms is the 2nd amendment
If the 1st amendment is, “I should be able to say whatever the fuck I want”Then it makes sense that the founding fathers said, “Oh… Read More »It makes sense that the Right to Bear Arms is the 2nd amendment
What do you a call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t really matter, he won’t come anyway when you call him.
What’s the best way to code the snake game?
In python script
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that?