My wife thinks I’m teasing her
Really, I still can’t find the hole!
thefun
A man very sadly died recently after breaking into a brewery and falling into a vat of beer
However, the police are treating his death as suspicious as the CCTV footage shows him getting out 3 times to take a piss.
For years I knew that I have a drinking problem…
…I tried hard and I tried long to get out of it.Finally, after countless attempts, I made it!I became a different person.But… turned out…that person’s… Read More »For years I knew that I have a drinking problem…
What does burnt breads, soldiers dying, and pregnant women have in common!
Pulling out too late.
Dave walks into his local pub…
…and sees Bob sitting at the bar, grinning from ear to ear.Dave goes up to Bob and says, “Oy, Bob, what you grinning about there?”… Read More »Dave walks into his local pub…
Why is it smarter to smoke weed than drink beer?
Because Budweiser
Why was Santa’s sack empty at the end of Christmas night?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What did the little ghost boy call his transgender ghost mother?
Transparent.Feel free to drop advice on better delivery, I’m open to suggestions.
Ever wonder why comedians don’t run for President?
They’d just make a joke of it.
Who is my good boi? My dog: woof woof…
Who is your ancestor?My dog: wolf wolf…
Why did the rapper died while he was free styling?
Because he was on fire.
I checked my local weather app to see if I’d get snow for Christmas this year
Guess it’s still up in the air ¯_(ツ)_/¯
An old Irish woman wins the lottery…
…and decides to to indulge herself with a milk bath, so she calls her local dairyman. “I’d like to order meself some milk” “How much… Read More »An old Irish woman wins the lottery…
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other:
“I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”
Stalin was out swimming, but he began to drown.
A peasant who was passing by jumped in and pulled him safely to shore. Stalin asked the peasant what he would like as a reward.… Read More »Stalin was out swimming, but he began to drown.
Not for the easily offended, very politically incorrect joke.
Man is walking through park. He sees a girl in a wheelchair crying.”What’s wrong?” man asks.”Never been kissed before” girl says.Man kisses her and she… Read More »Not for the easily offended, very politically incorrect joke.
Reputable news outlets?
Hey all, this is my first post here. I’m hoping to get some insights to some questions.I am personally having a difficult time finding news… Read More »Reputable news outlets?
My grandpa had a glass eye.
It scared the crap out of me as a kid. When he babysat me he would take his glass eye out and put on an… Read More »My grandpa had a glass eye.
Her: You got a vasectomy without telling anyone! Are you kidding me?
Me: Technically I can’t.
why dog shope not exists?
imagene, u go in and see dog yuo like, and i get him if pay moneiy, why not is exists yet, IT ARE GOOD.
What’s a Tesla Coil’s favorite author?
Nikola’s Sparks
What is worse than 3 babies in a garbage can?
One baby in 3 garbage cans.
Oouch
A married man died just before sex.His wife cut his penis, coated it with cement & fixed it on her bedroom wall.Every night she used… Read More »Oouch
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fun-gi, why did he leave? There wasn’t mush room.
I’m so broke…
… even my smoking is second-hand.
There are two types of people in the world:
those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
I’m starting a charity for girls that can’t afford to buy vibrators
It’s called Toys for Twats
I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost.
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
What’s a thing pornstars and truckers have in common?
They both get paid by the load.