Why is it smarter to smoke weed than drink beer?
Because Budweiser
thefun
Why was Santa’s sack empty at the end of Christmas night?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
What did the little ghost boy call his transgender ghost mother?
Transparent.Feel free to drop advice on better delivery, I’m open to suggestions.
Ever wonder why comedians don’t run for President?
They’d just make a joke of it.
Who is my good boi? My dog: woof woof…
Who is your ancestor?My dog: wolf wolf…
Why did the rapper died while he was free styling?
Because he was on fire.
I checked my local weather app to see if I’d get snow for Christmas this year
Guess it’s still up in the air ¯_(ツ)_/¯
An old Irish woman wins the lottery…
…and decides to to indulge herself with a milk bath, so she calls her local dairyman. “I’d like to order meself some milk” “How much… Read More »An old Irish woman wins the lottery…
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other:
“I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”
Stalin was out swimming, but he began to drown.
A peasant who was passing by jumped in and pulled him safely to shore. Stalin asked the peasant what he would like as a reward.… Read More »Stalin was out swimming, but he began to drown.
Not for the easily offended, very politically incorrect joke.
Man is walking through park. He sees a girl in a wheelchair crying.”What’s wrong?” man asks.”Never been kissed before” girl says.Man kisses her and she… Read More »Not for the easily offended, very politically incorrect joke.
Reputable news outlets?
Hey all, this is my first post here. I’m hoping to get some insights to some questions.I am personally having a difficult time finding news… Read More »Reputable news outlets?
My grandpa had a glass eye.
It scared the crap out of me as a kid. When he babysat me he would take his glass eye out and put on an… Read More »My grandpa had a glass eye.
Her: You got a vasectomy without telling anyone! Are you kidding me?
Me: Technically I can’t.
why dog shope not exists?
imagene, u go in and see dog yuo like, and i get him if pay moneiy, why not is exists yet, IT ARE GOOD.
What’s a Tesla Coil’s favorite author?
Nikola’s Sparks
What is worse than 3 babies in a garbage can?
One baby in 3 garbage cans.
Oouch
A married man died just before sex.His wife cut his penis, coated it with cement & fixed it on her bedroom wall.Every night she used… Read More »Oouch
Why did the mushroom go to the party?
Because he was a fun-gi, why did he leave? There wasn’t mush room.
I’m so broke…
… even my smoking is second-hand.
There are two types of people in the world:
those who can extrapolate from incomplete data.
I’m starting a charity for girls that can’t afford to buy vibrators
It’s called Toys for Twats
I found out my girlfriend is really a ghost.
I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
What’s a thing pornstars and truckers have in common?
They both get paid by the load.
Dating sites are so dumb and a bad way to find someone to date.
I know I sound like a boomer “oh technology” but I’m a huge supporter of social media to socialize except when it comes to dating… Read More »Dating sites are so dumb and a bad way to find someone to date.
My German girlfriend likes to rate my sexual performances on a scale from 1-10.
Last night, we tried anal. She kept yelling 9. That’s the best I’ve ever done.
Green Dragon Kicking My Ass
I’ve tried several varieties of kratom. My favorite is green maeng da, which gives me a nice euphoria and calm feeling, excellent for anxiety without… Read More »Green Dragon Kicking My Ass
If the enemy attacks from the front, what will you do?
General: If the enemy attacks from the front, what will you do?Me: I will defend against him!General: If the enemy attacks from the back, what… Read More »If the enemy attacks from the front, what will you do?
Why Does The Origami Like to do Laundry?
Because it likes folding.