My Co-worker gave me some motivational advice today
He said: “If you can figure out how to get something done naked with a stick, there should be no excuse not to do it… Read More »My Co-worker gave me some motivational advice today
thefun
Have you seen the movie about constipation?
Oh wait no, it probably didn’t come out
My friend was the best in Russian Roulette
He only lost once
Do this next time you’re at the dentist.
So I was at the orthodontist today and I happened to look at my dentist’s face while I lay in the chair and he looked… Read More »Do this next time you’re at the dentist.
My dad smashed my PS4 today
so i smashed his wife
How I feel about my GPA is how a parent feels about their autistic child
Good enough, but embarrassing to show to others.
What did the Austrailian sailor say to his shipmate when he spotted the enemy ship far away on the horizon?
What did the Australian sailor say when his shipmate spotted the enemy ship far away on the horizon?”Good eye, mate!”
I explained, to my friend Remi, my design for a solar kettle made of dough.
“Dough, Remi. For solar tea. Dough.”
I broke a table fan…
Now it has a separate fan base.
There was a dude in my restaurant waiting
We had some kind of competition, who can better wait.He could wait how hard he wanted, but in the end I won.because I was waiter.
A man and woman had been married for 30 years
In those 30 years, they always left the lights off when having sex. He was embarrassed and scared that he couldn’t please her, so he… Read More »A man and woman had been married for 30 years
What did Reddit say when it opened a vacuum?
Wow! Such empty.
My girlfriend asked me if I’d like a threesome, and who out of her friends I would pick
Apparently I was only supposed to name one, not two
What do you call a magic dog?
A Labracadabrador
Looking to buy either wireless headphones or earbuds for a price of about 6000INR ($85)
I’ve been looking to buy a decent set of earpods or headphones for the above-mentioned price range. I have gone through a few choices that… Read More »Looking to buy either wireless headphones or earbuds for a price of about 6000INR ($85)
My wife said I don’t listen to her….
At least that’s what I think she said.
I Need a Joke For A Song Called Brain Sprain
The song has to lyrics it’s for a jazz band but I can’t think of any jokes
A father has a meeting with his future son-in-law
The father asks “I see you are in between jobs, how are you going to provide for yourself and my daugher?”The young man replies “Well,… Read More »A father has a meeting with his future son-in-law
One benefit of living in a van.
You can go basically anywhere on house arrest.
Don’t be worried about your smartphone and television collecting your data…
Your vacuum has been gathering dirt on you for YEARS now.
It was easy to stop girls from eating Tide Pods.
It was harder to deter gents.
The Worst Comedian in the World
Have you guys heard about the terrible comedian who never finishes any of his jokes?
I sometimes wonder what would happen if there was no gravity
anyway iv’e had an uplifting day
What is the difference between most people and horses?
Most people are asses
The flat earth society is pretty big!
They have members all around the globe!
My wife thinks I’m teasing her
Really, I still can’t find the hole!
A man very sadly died recently after breaking into a brewery and falling into a vat of beer
However, the police are treating his death as suspicious as the CCTV footage shows him getting out 3 times to take a piss.
For years I knew that I have a drinking problem…
…I tried hard and I tried long to get out of it.Finally, after countless attempts, I made it!I became a different person.But… turned out…that person’s… Read More »For years I knew that I have a drinking problem…
What does burnt breads, soldiers dying, and pregnant women have in common!
Pulling out too late.
Dave walks into his local pub…
…and sees Bob sitting at the bar, grinning from ear to ear.Dave goes up to Bob and says, “Oy, Bob, what you grinning about there?”… Read More »Dave walks into his local pub…