One says ‘what a waste, a good helping of peanut butter thrown on the street’The other says ‘pff that’s not peanut butter! It’s obviously a… Read More »2 drunkards walking down a street and suddenly sidestep a pile of runny brown on the pavement
Sorry, I know that joke is lame…3 stars
Because it curls when it gets cold.
The first egg says, “Look I have a crack!”The second egg says, “I’m not hard yet”
Before you say or in this case, think anything, I want to say that this is the first time a movie studio has listened to… Read More »The bad sonic trailer is most likely a publicity stunt.
A jacket is something to wear when you’re cold.A sweater is what you wear when your Mom is cold.
So, my friend was going to the drugstore, and I asked if he would be so kind as to pick up a box of finely… Read More »Sour pharmacist
I’ve had a drum kit for ten years now and haven’t changed the heads or anything. Also, should I replace both heads or is just… Read More »I’m thinking of replacing the heads on my toms. Is fiberskyn a good choice?
He won the no bell prize.
A cereal killer.
I just came back from a High Altitude Low Opening jump for 2019.
For Hitting A Minor
The interviewer had pictures of himself holding up dead alligators, Nascar posters, and a picture of himself wearing a confederate flag shirt on his wall.… Read More »I went to a job interview today…
Whether or not you give a sh*t
The biggest question anyone who enters TRP, right after ‘how do I get women to fuck?’ is ‘how can I be alpha?’ so this naturally… Read More »TRP can’t define Alpha in a helpful way CMV
Yeah, I have 2020 vision
What’s the difference between someone who doesn’t understand figures of speech, and the Grinch?The first takes things literally. The other takes things, literally!The first takes… Read More »Jokes
But do we know where Minneapolis
It’s the thot that counts
Patient: I just feel like I can’t connect with anyone. I’m always the third wheel or being forgotten. No one has any time for me.… Read More »A patient calls his old therapist
« Son, I’m proud of you. Come have a sit and tell me everything about it »« well i can’t sit, my butthole still hurts »
You’re too young, you cantaloupe!
Why does tigger smell?Because he’s been playing with poohWhich is the hairy side of a monkey?The outside
A restaurant owner has a sign in the front: “whoever makes the donkey in the backyard laugh, gets a free meal”A man comes in. He… Read More »The donkey in the backyard
You’ve let me down, you’ve let the school down, but most of all you’ve let yourself down.
When Santa does come once a year… does Mrs.Claus say “Let it Snow” or “Let it Go”?
And the bartender says, “what can I get you?”
I said, “Don’t worry. It’ll be a piece of cake.”
Man 1 starts to kiss man 2Man 3: “dude you can’t do that here”Man 2: “why not, it’s 2019 dude”Man 3: “not for long…”