advice
I ignored my doctor’s advice and ended up in hospital. I maybe should have stopped banging his wife.
thefun
wrong
I just bought an answering machine and it doesn’t work. Or maybe I’m just asking it the wrong questions.
absolutely
I’m absolutely awesome in bed… Yesterday, I slept in until 2pm!!
I will..
The biggest lie I tell myself is “I don’t need to write that down, I’ll remember it.”
Diet Tip: Don’t visit your grandmother.
Diet Tip: Don’t visit your grandmother.
Colbie
I learn from the mistakes of others who have taken my advise.
your turn
A boob, a vagina and an asshole are debating on who is the greatest of the three of them. Boob: I give milk to new… Read More »your turn
songs
Some historians believe the word “Love” stems from an old Viking word meaning “Vagina”. With this in mind, lets take a look at some song… Read More »songs
special day
I lost my job and my wife on the same day. …Thank you Mega millions
who tf
So after my prostate exam the doctor left and the nurse came in a few seconds later and uttered the 5 words noone ever wants… Read More »who tf
pissed
Last year, I brought my boyfriend home to meet my family for Christmas. My husband was pissed!
When a woman says “what?” It doesn’t mean she didn’t hear you,…
When a woman says “what?” It doesn’t mean she didn’t hear you, it means she’s giving you a chance to correct herself.
I had a bikini wax today, It wasn’t painful at all.
I had a bikini wax today, It wasn’t painful at all. Very pleasent and quite erotic actually…. watching four chicks in flimsy swimwear wash my… Read More »I had a bikini wax today, It wasn’t painful at all.
for my wife
People look at me strange when I buy tampons at the supermarket. “They’re for the wife,” I say patiently, as I pack them away. Then… Read More »for my wife
razor
There is a girl walking up the stairs in a church one day. As the priest is walking by, he looks up and notices that… Read More »razor
horndog
At the marriage counselor, my wife says, “I do SO enjoy sex! But this horndog wants it five or six times a YEAR!”
difference
What women want to see in a man .. kindness , romance, tenderness, and loyalty What a man wants to see in a woman ..… Read More »difference
watch
While at the mall the other day, I saw a sign saying “Watch repairs”… Wasn’t very interesting to be honest, I’d rather watch porn!!
one day
baby: ” you mean to tell me one day I’m gonna have to pay to suck on boobies!?” mom: ” yes,now suck it”
gentlemen
My boyfriend opened the car door for me last night. It would have been a sweet gesture had we not been going 70 mph.
like her
A completely wasted man walked into a bar and after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, he walked over… Read More »like her
offshore
I’ve deposited so much sperm in the sperm bank.. I’ve had to open up an Offshore Wank account..
lack of evidence
My girlfriend dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled “You’re being charged for being good in bed…” After 2 minutes she said… Read More »lack of evidence
A sign at my local swimming pool: WELCOME TO OUR OOL NOTICE…
A sign at my local swimming pool: WELCOME TO OUR OOL NOTICE THERE IS NO P IN IT, WE WOULD LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT
incomplete
According to the Institute of Incomplete Research, 9 out of 10 people…
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative…
A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: “My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few… Read More »A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative…
red duck
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class. On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told… Read More »red duck
well done
John was furious when his steak arrived too rare. “Waiter,” he shouted, “Didn’t you hear me say ‘well done’?” “I can’t thank you enough, sir,”… Read More »well done
waiting
No, standing as close to me as you possibly can, will not make the line move faster.