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thefun

r.i.p.

As the inventor of the computer mouse has died I can just imagine how his funeral will be. Drag and drop.

modern

Me at art gallery : I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art. Art dealer : I beg your pardon Sir,… Read More »modern

choose

There are two ways to avoid hangovers: 1* Don’t drink 2* Don’t stop

secret

You know what Victoria’s Secret is.. Over charging you for a tiny piece of fabric that can be pushed aside by a tongue.

the future

My art teacher told us to draw what the future would look like. Everyone drew flying cars and spaceships. I drew a shell gas station… Read More »the future

O, shit…

My grandad asked me what I wanted for my birthday so I told him a ship in a bottle… Shame his hearing is getting bad.

cheers

Here’s to our wives and girlfriends!….. may they never meet!

advice

To my future kids: You are gonna start out with a flip phone,I don’t care if the Galaxy S10 is out,you are gonna know the… Read More »advice

prank

It’d be hilarious to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security’s face when they pull off… Read More »prank

reason

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia…. I can’t sleep because I have internet.

suddenly

I took off my boyfriend’s glasses last night and said, “Wow, you’re stunning!” He said, “And so are you…. …suddenly.”

fantasy

My husband asked me to dress up as a nurse tonight to fulfill his fantasy… that we have health insurance. 

awkward

There’s nothing more awkward than beating your family on a Wii game that requires the remote to be vigorously jerked back and forth, only for… Read More »awkward

nice…

Pick-up line: “I think it’s high time someone came over here and told you what everyone has been saying about you behind your back.” “And… Read More »nice…

confused

Ladies..Men think with their penis… So if you see one scratching their crotch,  it means they’re confused.

like mal nipple

Religion is like the male nipple: It has survived years of human evolution despite having no useful purpose.

no, I am not

My friend said im trivial and boring. Funny thing, Did you know the word ‘trivia’ has an interesting origin story.

procedure

Yesterday I went through a costly and painful procedure that required me to have my spine and both testicles removed. Still, I got some fantastic… Read More »procedure

one eye

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said “Look at that dog with one eye!” The other blonde covers one of… Read More »one eye

once or twice

My young Secretary was telling me a story today, that she had great sex last night with her boyfriend. But when they were finished, she looked in the box of condoms, but there were only six left out of twelve, so she asked her boyfriend what happened to the other five condoms?
He told her he’d masturbated with them.
Read More »once or twice

honestly

I was in a coffee shop a couple of weeks ago and I overheard this woman say, “Guys who drive expensive cars have small penises.”… Read More »honestly

compromise

My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn’t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat.

regret

If you get drunk and don’t regret anything the next day, then something is wrong with the way you drink!!