A short joke has nowhere to hide. No setup to sit through, no characters to keep track of, just a sentence that turns on you at the last word. These 31 were picked by hand from thousands on TheFun.Net. If you want more of the same, the 50 best one-liners are waiting, and the one-liners category has well over a thousand more.
Short Jokes About Work and Money
1. Man: I was just checking to see if I could get the day off to help my wife with the yearly Christmas cleaning. Boss: Absolutely not. Man: Thank you so much, I knew I could count on you.
2. Our boss said: we will continue having these meetings every day until I find out why no work is being done.
3. I came for an interview and fell asleep on the couch. I said: see how quickly I adapt to a new place.
4. My boss rang me and apologised for not believing I was sick. Then he told me he had seen my posts on thefun.net and realised that I am as sick as it gets.
5. Tired of losing money in the stock market? Come visit our online casino.
6. The mechanic asked me if I had ever rotated my tires. How does he think I got here?
7. Winning the lottery can sometimes be wife changing.
Short Jokes About Life, Health and Sheer Laziness
8. All my life, I never imagined I would wake up at 6am and go jogging. And I was right.
9. Sometimes I am sitting on the couch doing nothing, and I think to myself: man, I am really getting good at this.
10. Have you ever experienced that morning surge of inner energy, a charge of invigoration for the day, and an uncontainable desire to create? No? Neither have I.
11. My doctor said I have to exercise more and eat healthier food. This is going to be a huge change for me. Finding a new doctor is a tough process.
12. What do you call someone who identifies a disease by reading about symptoms on Google? A Google Doc.
13. Extrovert: it is a pleasure to meet you. Introvert: it is a pressure to meet you.
14. Me: I do not get nervous during presentations. Also me: Hello everyone, my name is Presentation.
15. I ate a small pizza, but it was not enough, so I ate a bigger one, and then a bigger one. They call it the dominoes effect.
16. I would like to meet the guy who invented beer and ask him what he is working on now.
17. I have done a hundred pull ups today. This new belt is rubbish.
18. How do you know if you bought good fireworks? The owner of the store gives you a high four.
19. I do not know how to act my age, because I have never been this old before.
Short Jokes About Drinking, Dating and Marriage
20. I never knew you drank until I saw you sober last night.
21. My doctor told me to take up an activity that gets me out of the pub, so I have started smoking.
22. I am your secret admirer. Why is it secret? My wife does not have to find out.
23. My wife and I have an open relationship. Found out last night.
24. I wish you a happy New Year, and may it finally start looking like your photos on Instagram.
25. Wife: I have heard that men start to go deaf if they take Viagra often. Husband: Who is Jeff and why is he taking you to Niagara?
26. There is a cure for nymphomania, but it is expensive. It can be cheap, but most people want a big ceremony, an open bar at the reception and so on.
27. Once upon a time they were known as love birds. Then they found love and got married. Now they are angry birds.
Short Jokes About Politics and the News
28. Volodymyr Zelenskyy is the greatest comedian of all time. He even turned Vladimir Putin into a joke.
29. I bought a Russian advent calendar. Every time you open a window an oligarch falls out.
30. What is the difference between a politician and a prostitute? There is a difference?
31. I have no idea why this cop is so annoyed. I yelled just kidding and immediately gave him his gun back.
Where to Find More
These 31 are a small slice of what is here. For more of the short stuff, try the 50 best one-liners or the one-liners category. If you want a proper setup and punchline, there are bar jokes, marriage jokes and work jokes.
Everything above is safe to read out loud. If you want the other kind, we keep those separately in 12 short dirty jokes and in the dirty jokes category, both strictly for adults.
New jokes go up all the time, so bookmark the page and come back when you need a fresh one.