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Funny Jokes

Welcome to TheFun.Net, a growing collection of funny jokes in one place. You will find short one-liners, dirty jokes, bar jokes, marriage jokes and plenty of classics worth sharing. New jokes are added all the time, so pick a category and start laughing. In a hurry? Start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. Strictly for adults, there are 200 dirty jokes too.

Popular collections: 100 dad jokes · 100 husband and wife jokes · 88 walks into a bar jokes · 86 office jokes · 72 computer jokes · 68 funny animal jokes · 64 medical jokes · 60 Christmas jokes

  • Good News Bad News

    Bob was in a terrible motorcycle accident and his legs weren’t in great shape, to say the least. After a couple of weeks of therapy, it soon became clear to the Doctor that they were just pushing off the inevitable. Due however, to Bob’s frail condition, the Doctor was afraid to give him the bad news. Instead, he gave the sorry job to Bob’s wife of 40 years, hoping that she would know how to break the bad news to him ever so slowly and gently. “Honey”, said Bob’s wife Eva the next morning, “I’ve got good news and bad news, which one would you like to hear first?” Bob, always in a morbid state, responded in his usual grumpy voice, “what do I care? Just give me the bad news!” “Well dear,” said Eva cupping Bob’s hand with her two hands, “I hate to have to tell you this, but it seems like your legs are going to have to be taken off.” Bob, barely able to hold his voice from cracking croaked out, “Eva, what’s the good news?” “The good news” said Eva happily, “is that that the gardener that was in here just before, said he may be interested in buying your slippers from you!”

  • Some cunt in a nightclub came up to me and said, “I get 20 times more girls than you do, haha.”

    So, “20 x 0 = 0.”I don’t know what’s funny!

  • Why didn’t the 11 ants get let into the ant hill?

    Because the ant hill is for ten ants only.

  • I hate it when engineering students refer to themselves as engineers…

    Like you don’t see med students calling themselves doctors or arts students calling themselves unemployed.

  • My sister bet me I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti…

    You should have seen her face as I drove pasta

  • The FBI, CIA, and KGB are trying to prove which one of them is the best at catching their targets.

    The task is to go into a forest and capture the rabbit in there.The FBI goes in, they place inside operatives into the animal kingdom, question all the tree witnesses, and interrogate even the rocks. After 3 months of effort, they come out, and conclude that the rabbit does not exist, and was just an urban myth.The CIA goes in next. In a week, there is an uprising of freedom fighters who seek to overthrow the hierarchy, which escalates until the forest burns down. They present the corpse of a rabbit and say it resisted.Not impressed, the KGB is sent in to the next forest. By the afternoon, they come out, dragging a bloody and bruised bear behind them, who instantly confesses: “I am rabbit. My mother and father were rabbits.”

  • I just had a near sex experience.

    My wife flashed before my eyes.

  • A thief broke into my house

    He was searching for money so I woke up and searched with him

  • My favorite Finnish joke

    Pekka is at a party in a tall building in the great city of Helsinki, which is quite different from the small timber cabin in the forest he is used to as a lumberjack. Pekka is enjoying the party, but after a few bottles of the moonshine he brought, Pekka finds himself in the need of a toilet. He asks the hostess where the toilet might be located. She notices he’s a bit drunk, so she points and explains very carefully: “Go out in the hall there, take the second door on your right, and be careful, there are three steps down, and there you’ll find the toilet.” Pekka thanks the lady as politely as he can, and wanders off in the opposite direction. He finds a door, slams it open, and walks straight in without a care in the world, and finds himself tumbling down 17 meters in an empty elevator shaft. A bit confused, he stands up, brushes some dust off his shirt, and exclaims: “Pärkälä! I’ll pee here! I can’t be bothered with two more steps like that!”

  • Pretty new one. Definitely deserves to be in the reddit hall of fame, though.

    r/aww•Posted byu/sjrem4 hours ago2My 12yo son used the $50 he got for Christmas to buy our old hound a new bed
    48.3k points415 comments

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