Welcome to TheFun.Net, a growing collection of funny jokes in one place. You will find short one-liners, dirty jokes, bar jokes, marriage jokes and plenty of classics worth sharing. New jokes are added all the time, so pick a category and start laughing. In a hurry? Start with our 300 short jokes and one-liners or the 50 best one-liners. Strictly for adults, there are 200 dirty jokes too.
Popular collections: 100 dad jokes · 100 husband and wife jokes · 88 walks into a bar jokes · 86 office jokes · 72 computer jokes · 68 funny animal jokes · 64 medical jokes · 60 Christmas jokes
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no matter
What I’ve learned from movies: No matter how fast you run, a psychopath can catch up to you by slowly walking.
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already
When I tell my barber to “take a little off the top”, he tells me god already beat him to it.
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ghosts
A professor at Auburn University is giving a seminar on the supernatural. Getting a feel for his students, he asks “How many of you believe in ghosts?” About 80 of his students raise their hands.
“That’s a good start I suppose. Those of you who believe in ghosts, how many have actually seen a ghost?” About 30 students raise their hands.
“That’s good. I’m really glad you’re taking this seriously. Ok, has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?” About a dozen students raise their hands.
“That’s a great response. Has anyone ever touched a ghost?” Two students raise their hands. “That’s fantastic. But let me ask you one last question… have any of you ever made love to a ghost?” One student in the back raises his hand. The professor is astonished. He removes his glasses, takes a step back, and says, “Son, in all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever actually claimed to have slept with a ghost. Why don’t you come up here and tell us about it.” The redneck student replies with a nod and a grin, and begins to make his way up to the podium. The professor says, “Well, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost.” The student replies, “Ghost? Oh… I thought you said ‘goats’!”
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bacon
I looked at my girlfriend ,who was sitting next to me, and I thought to myself, “My God, what a beauty! What a woman! True love has finally come my way after years of searching! Finally I’ve found joy and happiness! I can finally settle down and start a family with my soulmate!” I swear, it’s like she could read my mind because next thing you know she looked at me with those beautiful light brown eyes of hers, kissed me, and said… “Babe I’m hungry. I’m going to the kitchen to make use a couple sandwiches; however, they won’t have bacon on them because there is none. I ate it all this morning.”
And THAT my friends is the story on why I’m single again.
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no problem
My boss asked me to work through my lunch break today.
I shouted, “You fucking Asshole! I come in at 7.30 and don’t get thanks for it, work till 6 at night and don’t get thanks for it, while lazy bastards like you leave at 2 just to play golf all fucking afternoon!”….Then I emailed him back and said, “Sure boss, no problem”
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big and round
Her: Babe, I’m wet 😉
Dumb Boyfriend: Oh, you want a paper towel?
Her: Stop playing around babe, I’m serious!
DB: Ohhh, you want two paper towels then? Her: I want something big and round now!! DB: Seriously?! You want the whole damn roll??
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Me and my wife were sat outside a cafe in Barcelona today when…
Me and my wife were sat outside a cafe in Barcelona today when an absolutely stunning blonde with big tits and a perfect body walked past us,”Quit your fucking staring” snarled my wife.
…”It’s hard not to…your husband’s got his fucking cock out” said the blonde.
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carnival
A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.
A lady asks “What are you dressed as?”
He says a fireman!
You break the glass, pull the knob and I’ll cum as fast as I can.
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winner
Had a fight with an erection this morning.
I beat it single handedly.
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price
‘organic’ is a special term used in supermarkets meaning ‘twice as expensive’