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Jokes

  • give up

    If I was just learning English and you told me a sport called BOXING takes place in a SQUARE area called a RING, I’d probably give up.

  • probably

    People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.

  • autocorect

    My android autocorrected “wish you were here” to “wish you were beer” . i left it. it’s true.

  • available

    Sorry, but breaking up with you on facebook was the best way of letting all your friends know I’m available.

  • waiting

    Inside every fat woman there is a thin woman.

    Inside every thin woman there is a fat woman waiting for marriage.

  • anonymous

    “Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.” – anonymous

  • cache

    I tried to download a girlfriend last night.

    But I didn’t have enough cache.

  • immortal

    They say laughter is the best medicine, and based on how many people laugh at me, I’m gonna live forever.

  • be a warrior

    Worry is a waste of energy. It cant change the past. It cant control the future. It only makes today miserable. Be a warrior, not a worrier

  • prank

    Every time I see someone with Google glasses I’m gonna run up and scream “image search diarrhea, safety mode off! open first 50 results in new tabs” then disappear into the night.