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Jokes

  • until

    Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two drinks.

  • When going out to a new place, what wifi stands for, Wifi: “Wish…

    When going out to a new place, what wifi stands for, Wifi: “Wish I Find Internet”

  • chances

    71 killed in Nigeria as a result of a bus explosion.

    What are the chances all on board are millionaires with no family and my surname?

  • question

    “My mind is telling me nooo… But my body…My body’s telling me yesss…BABY”

    Cashier: Ma’am…would you like fries with that or not?

  • Tennis players don’t marry because Love means Nothing to them.

    Tennis players don’t marry because Love means Nothing to them.

  • A man walks into a library and asks the librarian “Where can I…

    A man walks into a library and asks the librarian “Where can I find a book on female orgasms?”

    The librarian points him towards shelf G and says “That’s the spot”

  • no joke

    ~To make it stand, you wet it.~
    ~To make it wet, you suck it.~
    ~To make it stiff, you lick it.~
    ~To get it in, you push it.~ DAMN….. threading a needle is NO JOKE!!

  • instead

    I wish more of my handcuff stories involved sex, instead of police officers.

  • candy or money

    I don’t know what’s happening in this country. You’ve got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. It’s a nightmare – you don’t know whether to carry candy or money.

  • long cuddle

    I like a good long cuddle with my girlfriend after sex.

    It’s the quickest way to deflate her.